I Would Like to See It

Chapter 2: The Morning After

Bio: What if Guzman woke up and caught her before she ran away from him and her feelings?

Something about the way the sunlight streamed into the pool room woke Nadia up. For a second she was confused by her surroundings, unable to account for why she wasn't in her bed. Then she turned to her right and saw Guzman sleeping peacefully and the memories came back to her in waves. She looked at him wistfully as her mind replayed the beauty of last night. He had taken care of her, guiding her through her first time. At first, his experience had terrified her. She was scared that she wouldn't measure up to the girls in his past. With every caress, kiss, lick, and thrust, her worries subsided. He was here, in the moment, making love to her; she'd be doing herself a disservice not to join him. She loved the way they'd gotten lost in each other under the moonlight. Their frantic motions were the result of their anxiety. They didn't want to lose time because they knew what the morning would bring.

He brought out emotions in her that Omar would be surprised she could experience. She knew that Valerio was right: she was in love with Guzman despite trying to lie to herself and guard her heart. She'd been so lost in that love that she hadn't thought clearly. His name had been the only word on her lips and the only thought in her mind while the world disappeared around her.

But now, it was morning. Reality had set it. If Baba had known of this clandestine sin, he would surely die. In fact, she had to get back before her parents noticed that she was missing. Her mother's face of disgust at the hospital when she'd arrived smelling of alcohol and her dad's anger when she came home from the red party wearing makeup, were tattooed into her brain. She couldn't afford to disappoint them further especially as she was the last child still at home. As much as she loved Guzman, especially after last night, her family was more important.

At some point in the night, Rebe had dried their clothes and hung them on the coat rack. That simple gesture made Nadia grateful for a friend. Rebe encouraged her and guided her, all the things she needed especially after her only other female friends had either deserted her or been murdered.

Nadia hoisted herself off the mattress and walked to the coat rack where her clothes were. She turned her back to Guzman's sleeping figure attempting to get dressed and leave as quickly and quietly as possible. She knew if she looked at his cute face again she'd be enticed into staying and spending the morning in his arms listening to the quiet.

Behind her, Guzman began to stir. His internal clock or maybe some intuition that Nadia would attempt to run away woke him up. He reached out beside him and slightly panicked, thinking he'd missed her. He sat up and saw her getting dressed. He got off the bed noiselessly, walked up behind her and wrapped his arms around her.

Startled, Nadia turned around to face him. In front of her, stood a beautiful naked man that she was reluctant to leave. "Were you going to leave without saying goodbye? Most ladies I spend the night with aren't trying to leave me so quickly," Guzman wryly. He smiled down at her but it didn't reach his eyes. She knew what he was doing, masking his hurt with humor.

She looked down, unable to meet his eyes. She searched for words, words that would hurt him the least. She finally looked up and exhaled. "I didn't want to wake you. You looked so peaceful sleeping there. Plus I have to go home before my parents notice I'm gone". 

That was her first lie between them. The truth was: she couldn't do this. She couldn't hide in Rebe's pool room and pretend the real world didn't exist. She had no delusions about the fact that her parents would never accept their love. It was too hard, too painful to love Guzman. Their relationship consisted of stolen glances and desperate moments in the dark but she wanted more. She wanted what she couldn't have. Plus, there was Lu. For all the love he seemed to pour into her, he couldn't seem to curb the habit that was Lu.

Guzman's voice broke her out of her torturous thoughts. "I would've loved to have held you in my arms and kissed you before you left." She smiled at him wistfully, the story of what they could've been flashing through her brain. Nonetheless, she obliged him because she wanted it too.

She lifted up on her toes to accommodate for the height difference. Their lips met and the kiss was slow but the passion was fire enough to ignite their souls. She felt like weeping because she knew she'd have to be realistic after this. Whatever this was between was not sustainable. Guzman wrapped his arms around her pulling her as close as humanly possible. He was trying to hold on-  to last night, to this morning, to them for as long as possible before she ran away again.

They parted lips and Guzman could feel them metaphorically parting ways: him back to Lu and her back to pretending to be the perfect daughter. Nadia grabbed her shoes and began to leave. "We'll see each other in class right?" Guzman asked.

Nadia turned back once more and nodded before walking out the door.

Author's note: Shout out to @idkd0m for the idea. Inspired by Abel's new album After Hours but specifically, the song Hardest to Love.