Vulnerable (Book One) Complete!

chapter twenty nine

Jensen

"Baby, I want you to come on tour with me."

The words echoed in my ears, repeating themselves over and over again. He wasn't breaking up with me. He wanted me to go on tour with him. He wanted me to leave my family to go on tour with him.

"Harry, I can't ju-" He held up his hand, making me stop.

"Please just hear me out before you say no. I want you to come on tour with me, 100%. I know exactly what is running through your head right now. I know you're thinking you can't leave your family. I know you're thinking you can't leave this bar. But I talked to Jeffrey and the band today, I showed them the song we wrote. They all loved it. I want you to perform it with me, on tour. You don't have to give me a definite answer tonight but I'm just asking you to please think about it."

I didn't know what to say. I, for once in my entire life, was speechless. My mind kept telling me no. That there was absolutely no way. I couldn't leave my dad and Reese to fend for themselves. They needed me here. I couldn't leave the bar for seven months. I could barely stay away for a week. My head was screaming for me to say no, but my heart was still on the fence.

"No, Harry, I can't leave Reese and my dad to run this place by themselves. That's not fair. Plus, I'd just be a distraction on your tour." His face fell at my words and I hated the fact that my words hurt him.

"Just think about it, J, please." He begged, holding my hands in his. I shook my head, his face becoming blurry from the tears welling in my eyes. "You can't spend your whole life playing the hero Jensen! Your father is a grown man and Reese is 21 years old! You can't tell me that they are the reason!" Harry shot up from his seat, kicking his chair back in anger. I jumped at the action, feeling a rage boiling within me.

"My family is everything to me Harry! What if I leave and something happens? That's on me! This is my home! You can't just expect me to up and leave for seven months to follow you around on tour!" I was standing now, shouting as the tears continued to run down my cheeks.

"This is about you being scared Jensen, this isn't about them. For someone who acts so fearless and tough, you're so terrified to even leave this stupid bar! You're so scared to do anything for yourself!" I froze, I couldn't believe the words that had just left his mouth and I could tell he instantly regretted them. He reached his hand towards me but I jerked away instantly.

"Don't!" I backed away, feeling the anger and hurt boiling inside me. "Get out."

"Jensen, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to-" I stopped him, backing away and pointing at the door. His eyes were pleading with me to forgive him.

'I said get out!" I yelled, feeling myself starting to crumble. Harry shook his head, walking out the door. I felt myself collapsing, my lungs feeling as if they were full of water. I felt like I was drowning within myself.

I grabbed my keys, quickly locking the door and running into the night. The sky itself was crying, large drops of rain soaking me as I sprinted to the only place I knew to go in these times. I went to my dad.

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I reached the door, gasping for air. My tears hadn't stopped since my argument with Harry. I felt so lost, so hurt. I was drenched, thunder booming as I banged my fist on the door. The lights in the living room were on and I heard my dad shout that he was coming. I stood there as the door opened, revealing my dad's confused face.

"Jensen?" He squinted at me, pulling me inside. "What the hell are you doing out in this storm? Where is Harry?" I couldn't answer, I just shook my head. He didn't ask me anymore questions. Instead, he pulled me in for a hug and I lost it. Sobs raked through my chest as my dad held me tight, his arms being the only thing keeping me afloat.

I couldn't tell you how long we stood there before the tears finally stopped. My dad let me go, his clothes soaked from my tears and the rain. I did my best to calm my breathing, my whole body shaking with every movement. I plopped down on the couch as my dad left the room. He came back moments later with fresh clothes from my old room. I gave him a small smile as I went to the bathroom to change into the sweats, not bothering to look at myself in the mirror. My dad was waiting for me when I came back out.

"Come on." He waved me to the garage. I followed, shivering. I didn't know if it was from the tears or the rain at this point. Two lawn chairs sat facing the open garage door, positioned so we could watch the storm. My dad sat in his chair, patting the one beside him. I moved over slowly, grabbing the blanket off my chair as I did.

Watching storms had been an old tradition of ours. Mom used to hate it, always yelling at us to get back inside before we got fried by the lightning. Dad would always wave her off, telling her the lightning couldn't reach us in the garage. He would explain to me that the beats between the lightning and the thunder was how many minutes away the storm was and we'd sit and wait for the rain to start to fall. I always watched it in complete awe.

"Do you want to talk about it?" My dad's words shook me out of my memory. I sighed, rubbing my swollen eyes. I didn't want to talk about it but I knew if I didn't, it'd eat me up.

"Harry asked me to go on tour with him." I looked over at my dad as I said the words, watching a smile grow across his face. My brows furrowed, unsure why he would be happy about this.

"And you told him no? And he told you that you needed to think about yourself for once and go out and do the thing that scared you the most and you didn't like hearing the truth so you kicked him out?" My mouth fell open in amazement, wondering just how in the hell my dad managed to know all this information when all I had said was one single sentence. He laughed at my reaction, pulling me into his side. "Oh kiddo, your dad isn't a fool. I know that you think that you need to stick around to keep Reese and I on track but honey, that isn't your job. You know that right? Reese and I would be just fine if you left. I know you'd come visit and you know that you are always welcome to leave if you get homesick."

"So you think I should go?" This was not the reaction I had expected from my dad. Maybe he really would be okay if I left.

"You know I would miss you like crazy, so would your sister, but Jensen, you've got to start living for yourself now. I miss your mom, more than anything in the world, but you can't stay here forever taking care of your sister and I. She wouldn't want that for you either. You need to go live your life. I know you're scared and I know that you use Reese and I as a crutch as to why you stay, but you need to do something for yourself and this might just be it." I felt the tears welling up again at my dads words, this time in good nature.

"I'm scared, Dad. I'm terrified to leave the only place I've known and you and Reese but I love Harry. I know what he said was true but I truly thought you guys needed me here." I sat up, wiping my eyes once more, "He asked me to sing with him."

"No kidding," My dad's eyes were glassy now, "Harry loves you too. A lot. I think he's a great kid and I truly think you should go Jensen. You'll always have a home here and I'll always be your number one fan, even from millions of miles away."

"I love you, Dad." I kissed his cheek, pulling him in for one last hug. He laughed, hugging me tightly.

"I love you too, kiddo." We spent a little longer watching the storm before the rain stopped. I had closed the bar early after my fight with Harry but if I hurried back to the apartment, I could still make my movie night with Reese.

I needed some space, to figure out just what I was going to tell Harry but I knew deep down in my soul that I was going to go on tour with him, if he still wanted me to.

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heavy chapter folks....but important. Jensen is finally going to sing in front of millions of people and tour with Harry. maybe one to two more chapters left here but we'll see. stay tuned!