That One Show (z.s.)

Seventeen

Harry's show went well, he was a little distracted knowing that the future conversation he's about to have with Zayn is unwanted, but he needs to tell him anyway.

It broke Zayn's heart that he wasn't watching Harry perform although he could still hear his voice all the way in the dressing room.

"Sweet creature, Sweet creature, when I run out of road...you bring me home."

"Sweet Creature" was one of Zayn's favorites, and Harry knew that as well. So every time he sung it, he'd say "this goes out to that special someone". And though nobody suspected it was Zayn, it was, and he loved it.

Zayn was struggling with all of the possibilities that may come about during their conversation, and was extremely anxious. Knowing that he had an anxiety problem anyways, Harry suspected that would happen once he left to perform so as soon as the show concluded Harry ran back to his dressing room to find Zayn.

When Harry got there Zayn was pacing around the room with tears in his eyes breathing extremely heavily. Harry knew he was about to have a panic attack from worrying and grabbed his hand to lead him to the couch.

Zayn was breathing super fast, and having dealt with Zayn's anxiety attacks before, he knew it was coming. He reached across the table and grabbed a water bottle to rest on his forehead to calm his breathing and help him settle down.

Harry: "baby quit worrying, I'm here, we're gonna talk."

Zayn just cried uncontrollably into Harry's chest

Harry: "shhh, do you want me to explain? Will that help?"

Zayn: "y-ye-yes pl-e-ase."

Harry: "alright breathe okay."

Zayn: "I-I'm try-ing."

Harry: "I know baby, shhhh"

Harry caressed his hair in an attempt to calm him down while he got ready to explain.

Harry: "Z, I'm not gonna lie I'm panicking on the inside too because I don't know how to tell you this. That's why I've postponed saying something for like...ever."

Zayn: "you're n-n-not making it an-y easier."

Harry: "I know but, I'm worried to babe. It's not one sided, and I know you're confused but let me find my words okay?"

Zayn: "...please don't tell me you cheated on me. did you?"

Harry: "fuck no. I would never."

Zayn: "that's the thing that's been hammering my brain this entire time."

Harry: "no babe, that's not it."

Zayn: "listen, I'm not gonna hate you. I'm not gonna walk away from you. I just don't want things hidden from me haz. We've never ever hidden things from each other. Ever since we were just best mates."

Harry: "okay I think I'm ready"

Zayn reassured him that he was ready, and calmed down as well by grabbing both of his hands and shifting to face him completely.

Harry: "I'm just gonna come out and say it."

Harry: "When you didn't have feelings for me in the band, and I was absolutely infatuated with you're hot ass, I was upset."

Zayn: "rightfully so...I'm listening"

Harry: "Louis was the only person who comforted me while I was drowning in my feelings for you. So therefore, when Louis told me he wanted me...I gave in."

Zayn: "this was all when we were in the band?"

Harry: "...yes, and none of you lads new but we cuddled, kissed, and we even slept together for awhile."

Zayn: "we were best fucking mates Harry...why didn't you just tell me."

Harry: "I kept that going until I realized that the only reason why I thought I had feelings for Louis was because he filled the void where I wanted you to be."

Zayn: "that's what I'm saying...I wouldn't fucked the hell out of your ass if you would've just told me sooner love."

Harry: "you were so in love with Perrie, and when you proposed to her I sat in the hotel room crying for hours."

Zayn: "that's when I had the engagement party in the lobby and all the lads told me you were puking."

Harry: "they weren't totally lying, I got myself so fucking worked up over that. I was sitting in the bathroom bawling and puking."

Zayn: "I wish I could've loved on you."

Harry: "me fucking too, but I was afraid to tell you. So I let Louis do the job and just settled for that."

Zayn: "so what exactly were you gonna say in the car then?"

Harry: "you told me you felt bad for letting me suck you off before I performed and I almost said, no I've given a blow job before a show anyway."

Zayn: "before we performed, you sucked Louis off?"

Harry: "it was Berlin."

Zayn: "holy shit."

Harry: "and I feel terrible because I was basically using him. and I didn't want to. But every time we fucked I pretended it was you."

Zayn: "babe I'm so sorry I didn't know."

Harry: "it's okay...it's my fault. but I'm glad you know now."

Zayn: "you mean, nobody knew at all?"

Harry: "besides Louis and I obviously"

Zayn: "thank you for being honest."

Harry: "this is all because for the longest time I've wanted to be yours...and I'd give everything up for this."

Zayn pulled Harry in for a kiss, but they heard a knock on the door before it could go any further.