We Were There

March 28, 1965

The man who stood before me was Chen Yuan. Though he was a little shorter than my husband. He was now my husband at that moment. On his body were clothes that my husband usually wore. A sleek dark grey suit that showed his status. His posture was poised and confident like my husband's. He spread out a smile that showed his perfect white teeth and announced he was back from the 'vacation.'

"How was Bombay?" I asked him. He ignored the question and kissed my cheek.

"I'm tired," he said. Chen Yuan sat down on the bedside stool and took out his socks. I shook my head and clicked my tongue. "No, don't do that. Ask me to take your socks out," I instructed. He parted his lips in surprise and slipped the socks back on his feet.

"You told me he's a nice husband." He broke character and slumped his shoulders down. I pointed a finger to him and reprimanded, "You're not Chen Yuan today." He nodded and sat straight again.

"What do you guys call each other?" He asked.

"Love."

"Huh. What do you think they call each other?"

I heaved out a sigh and placed both of my hands on my hips. He let out a little laugh and crossed his legs.

"Please massage my feet, my love," he commanded. I nodded silently and crouched down. He parted his legs and raised his right foot. I slipped the socks off and my eyes fixed its gaze towards his face. He stared right back.

"Is there anything you want to tell me?" I asked. He waved a hand dismissively. I shook my head and put his foot down on the floor.

"If there's anyone else. Please don't keep me in the dark." I raised my head to have a good look with his eyes. He faced the white drawers beside us and avoided my eyes.

"Liang Jing, please look at me."

I cupped his face with my hands but he refused to face me. Would Liang Jing really do this when I'll confront him? The obvious answer terrified me. I folded my arms on his knees and buried my face above it.

Warm tears cascaded down from my eyes. I crumpled the fabric of his slacks with my fist. My chest tightened as I continue to cry. It's just devastating when someone you grew up with and love all these years betray you.

Liang Jing, why would you do this?

Did I not love you enough?

"Chen, it hurts."

 After all, despite my false confidence, I couldn't handle the confrontation yet. He placed a hand on the back of my head and patted it. 

"Feifei, it's only a rehearsal," he reminded me, his voice was soft almost like a whisper. The tears continued to flow from my eyes. Truly embarrassed of this, I rubbed it all out. He crouched down and held me in his arms.

"L-Liang, I-I know you have someone else," I continued the act, my words were slurring due to the crying. I broke off from his grasp and cupped his face again. Chen Yuan who was not prepared, parted his lips in surprise. Yet, I knew by then that it would still work that way because Liang Jing would do the same.

"You don't look at me the same way you used to do."

That was true. The first thing I noticed was when how he looked at me. Before he would look at me like he peered into my soul and that all he ever desired was to give warmth to it. Lately, he looked at me as if I was just a woman who waited for him to go home.

Chen Yuan's eyes glowered and glistened. His irises danced as he blinked a couple of times. He nodded and engulfed me in an embrace again.

"Stop breaking character, Chen," I tried to scold but my voice faltered. He rubbed his palm on my back and shushed me. "We can slow down."

A sound of an engine disrupted our running thoughts. I gasped and pushed him aside. I bit my lip and paced around the room. I tried to think of something.

"Chen, that's my husband. He's back." I announced. He heaved out a sharp sigh. His head turned around at every corner. He pointed under the bed and I nodded. The engine sound stopped and Liang Jing shouted to announce his presence. "Fei fei!"

Chen Yuan crawled below the bed. I took out a box from the drawers and pushed it beside him. Hoping it would work to conceal him more. "Fei fei!" Liang Jing called out again. My numbing hands started to tremble as I rubbed it on my dress repeatedly.

I made my way towards the common room. A suited figure of a tall man stood by the big main double doors. His left hand was holding a briefcase and his right was holding the handle of a stroller. He heaved out air from his nostrils.

"I have to-" before he continued what he said in his breathy voice, I charged and contained him in an embrace. I closed my eyes and rubbed his back with both of my hands. My face rested on his chest which then prompted me to inhale his scent. It was a mix of Lucky Strike cigarettes and of course, a woman's shampoo.

"Why can't you just stay here?" I plead. He let out a chuckle and softly took out my arms away from his body. "Feifei, we're not a young couple anymore. I'm going to the office immediately."

My hands balled up in fists but I hid it on my back. He approached the turntable on the corner and placed a phonograph disc on it. Zhou Xuan's voice engulfed the room. She sang my favorite song. Blooming Flowers and the Full Moon.

He managed to do a little dancing and swayed his hips slowly before he turned back to me with a frown. "You should relax here." His palm patted my head.

"You know what I hate these days?" he asked. I raised my shoulders and shook my head. He stomped his right foot and scowled. "It's those damn protesters in the streets. They're everywhere causing traffic and havoc. I don't blame the president silencing student publications. The youth of today demands too much," he complained.

"Doesn't it scare you when leaders shut down press freedom?" I responded. He raised a brow and snickered.

"Media usually is propaganda, my love."

I shook my head in disagreement. He squinted his eyes and studied me. Damn it, he was clearly surprised. I had only been interested in politics ever since Chen influenced me. Though, I don't give him that much credit. I knew more than enough not to be ignorant.

"Still it means we can't speak out what we want. Our country's supposed to be a democratic republic," I insisted. He approached me and patted my head.

"Love, you don't know much about politics. So, I say you stir out of it."

After that, he bade goodbye with a kiss on my forehead. The sounds of his leather shoes' that stepped away, echoed around the room as Zhou Xuan sang the last verse.