Rejection / Scars of Trauma - A Short Sequence

Katie Stevens had just kissed John on the cheek. In front of everyone in class, she was blushing furiously. He had been crushing on her for the longest time - and to have the girl of his dreams kiss his cheek out of nowhere? What the heck?

But then, John understood. Where salivary strands crept against his skin, little spiders had crawled from her mouth along the cobwebs too. They stung at him, biting, gnawing, tearing at his flesh. John felt the venom seeping into his skin, into his bloodstream, as it made its way into his heart. He felt his muscle walls puncture, and realized, 'I really don't want this.'

And he told her he couldn't go out with her. He spun and ran out of the classroom. Falling to the ground as he reached the toilet, he started retching, wheezing, unsure of these emotions he was feeling. He felt his heart burn, air bags and balloons bursting inside of him. But what he expected to feel as pleasure to follow after, he felt pain. His skull contracted into the muscles of his brain. Grey or white didnt matter, they both squished uncomfortably amongst themselves, rubbing rubber band-textured intestines into abrasions. Electricity jolted him as sparks sparkled with friction being culprit. His face twitched, eyebrow raised ('suspicion') , forehead lifted ('consciousness - awareness'), ears pulled back ('apprehension'), eye winked ('misplaced charm - confusion'), lips stretched. ('Sadness'.)

He hoped they wouldn't find out who he was. He was John, but he knew he wasn't the same John they knew. It was complex, but he knew that much. They were people, so was he. He liked Katie Stevens, and so did she. But the way he did anything, made all the difference. He was weak, he couldn't stand up to his own fears, so he needed another John to help. So John came alive, not wanting to go back inside. John, this John, was not full. But this John, can live.

He was really sorry to Katie Stevens, no one really wants to hurt the people they love. But he knows if he had opened himself to her, that would have been far worse a demise. John couldn't really describe anything he's felt so far. He only knew that his world was done. For a long time. He was just walking along this earth like a zombie, with a full heart. But he knows it isn't complete living - the others he saw living whole never needed to do much of the shrouding.

So John tried to preserve John until a day would come that he could let go. He would apologize to Katie Stevens then.