Turned Table of the Phoenix

Ending the Game

"You will not have another empress".

The air seemed to be sucked out of the room. A scroll could have fallen on the floor and sounded like an avalanche with how quiet it was.

The Emperor Hitoshi looked up at me, his hair draped across his left eye. His eyes seemed to be darker with anger, frustration, and sadness.

"My son will give me leader, I have no need to fear. I will see it through that you marry him ".

The maids dressed me in the finest silks of reds and golds, my wrist was heavy with bracelets lined with the nicest gems to purchase. My face was powdered to perfection, I was stunning. My eyes were decorated elaborately with makeup. I looked into the mirror as my hair was twisted and pulled up high. I watched hair pins being carefully placed into the hair. Turning my head from left to right, I looked at my neck, admiring the length.

No makeup, no matter how great the coverage could cover my pain and anxiety.

A red thin veil was placed atop my head, hiding my face from view.

"It's time".

I simply nodded and stood up. At my side, maids walked alongside me. I breathed heavily and twiddled my fingers under the cover of my long sleeves overlapped another. I counted how many times my feet made contact with the floor, like a child who counts sheep before bed.

I bowed my head and waited for the doors to open.

I heard a loud creak as the doors opened and waited for Emperor Hitoshi to call me forward.

"Enter my daughter".

Oh how terribly those words stung my ears like a hornets nest on my head.

I walked down the red isle and sat on the floor, kneeling. I bowed my head and waited. I felt a hand brush my cheek and pull the veil back from my eyes and drape it over my hair. He held my hand and kissed it tenderly.

"My wife, you look stunning".

I bit my bottom lip and looked up, finally meeting his eyes.

"Katashi".

I took heed to my surroundings and noticed Katsuro standing in the back of the room, his arms folded across his chest. He looked away from me and I looked away from him. I think we both knew how the other felt. Trapped, like an animal stuck in a cage to be in this position.

I gazed back into Katashi's eyes and nodded as the ritual took place.

The incense filled the room and provided little comfort to me. My hands shook ever so slightly resting on my lap.

"What is wrong? It's our wedding day, you should be happy"?

I nodded weakly.

I should be... but I'm not.

Kneeling before my husband was like bowing to the rest of my life being governed and taken away.

After the ceremony, we headed to the balcony, the highest part of the palace.

Stepping into the light of high noon almost blinded me. I shielded my eyes until they came into focus. Millions of voices cheered until Emperor Hitoshi raised his arm, silencing the crowd.

"You have your new Emperor and Empress".

Before I knew it, then came the wedding feast filled with the most luxurious delicious delicacies that I did not even want a nibble of. I sat in the chair in silence while others merrily chatted and laughed with the assistance of wine. Time moved terribly slow yet so fast because before I knew it, the feast was over, dessert was finished and guest were retiring for the night.

I did not want to go to bed, I did not want to spend the night with Katashi. I did not want to make love to this man. My heart was torn in a million pieces and I didn't know which piece to search for first.

I sat on the side of the bed, one leg folded over the other. My maids had already changed me into a finely decorated silk robe. As the maids left the room I could hear their faint giggles.

Every woman believed it to be an honor to lie with an emperor. I however, could not bring myself to that mental state. I did not want him to take me as his wife and have me give him a child I would always wish was another man's.

I knew the maids were going to gossip and that the emperor and I were to be the talk of the night among the nation as they would hope that after a wedding, an heir would shortly follow.

The door creaked and in came Katashi wearing a fine silk robe, decorated with a mighty golden dragon curled around its wearer.

"I am not here to force you to do anything you do not wish to do".

My heart returned to my chest as I felt a wave of relief.

"Good".

I tucked myself into bed, throwing the sheets over me, enclosing myself. I turned my back against him, still keeping an eye on him with my peripheral vision.

With a large sigh, Katashi took off his robe and tossed it to the floor. He too curled up in bed with his back to mine. It seemed like hours had passed when he whispered, "Are you asleep my love"?

I did not reply, I only kept my eyes closed and breathed steadily as Katashi leaned over me, resting his tender lips against my ear.

"Run away with me".

I did move, nor said anything.

"Run away with me".

His voice seemed to have gotten a lot louder than the previous time he said it.

"Run away with me"!

I woke up to my shoulders being shook lightly.

Startled, I sat up quickly and looked at the person who woke me up.

Katsuro sat there, his side to my hip. His chest was next to mine with one arm on the other side of me, keeping me cornered against the post of my bed.

He kissed my cheek and whispered into my ear once more.

"Run away with me".

This was no longer a dream.

I looked around my room and wondered if I wanted to leave behind a life like this, a privileged life full of luxuries. Everything I had worked for, my life I placed on the line to win this game, was it worth it? Sometimes chess was about learning rather than winning, maybe it was my time to end this match.

Perhaps my dream was a warning of the heart, maybe I would never be happy if I married Katashi. I couldn't stand how many times he tried to control me or when he would mix me emotions with his actions. It seemed with Katsuro, that he always showed his emotions and was straight forward with how he felt. It seemed like I had made up my mind, however my heart still felt uneasy.

I looked at Katsuro and nodded. I held his hand firmly in my lap.

"Take me with you".

And so he did.