Afterlife Anxiety (Annabeth Fanific)

Grey With White Owls

Percy's POV

Trigger Warnings - suicide

I woke up early on the morning of Annabeth's funeral. I pushed off the covers, then stood up, picking my way to the large window. I placed my hand on the window, standing still and gazing up. The sky was purple outside, slowly turning pink as the sun rose over Long Island. I took a deep breath, rubbing my eyes to wake up. I wasn't surprised to find stray tears there. I took another breath. I wasn't sure I could do this much longer . Every breath I took without her hurt. Flashbacks plagued my every waking minute, and at night it was worse. That first night when Grace was with me, I thought I might be okay. I had my friends. But it became more and more apparent that I couldn't do this. I had to go join her.

The last time I lost her, I didn't have any hope of finding her. I didn't know where she was, I didn't even know who I was! But she found me. She came to me. After months and months. But now, I knew that she couldn't come to me. So I had to go to her. And there was only one way to do that.

I turned around and picked my way to the bed stand. I didn't bother in cleaning up, I wouldn't be here long enough to need a clean cabin. I opened the drawer and stared at what looked like an ordinary pen, but I knew better. Riptide was nothing but ordinary.

I picked up the pen and uncapped it, wincing at the glow. It was still pretty dark outside, so the light was unnatural. The long blade was a tight fit in the cabin, but what I wanted to do could still be done.

I positioned the blade over my wrist to make the cut. Annabeth's last words filled my head. Don't dwell too much on me Percy. Live your life. I'll see you when the time is right. I smiled sadly. I'm sorry, Annabeth, I thought. I can't stop dwelling on you. You're the love of my life. I guess the right time is now.

I pulled the sword across my wrist.

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I opened my eyes to a blurry world, filled with pounding lights and shouting. I shut my eyes again to filter out the light. I tried to raise my hands to block out the insanely loud voices, but they wouldn't budge. Since I couldn't block the noise, I decided to use it to my advantage and try to figure out who was making so much noise. But a blinding headache stopped me from concentrating hard enough to listen. I finally succumbed to sleep, the only way to escape my overheated senses.

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I floated through space, tumbling through memories. I saw Annabeth, Grover, and I standing proudly against Hades on our first quest. I saw Thalia and I laughing about dam snack bars at Hoover dam. I saw all my friends laughing aboard the Argo II. I saw Bob and Damasen helping us in Tartarus. I saw the final battle with Gaea. I saw more memories than I could count, peacefully tumbling through oblivion.

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I opened my eyes again, and the world dimmed down. I looked around, trying to figure out where I was, but all I could see was the ceiling above me. If I couldn't take stock of where I was, then I could figure out how I was doing. I tried to move my head, but I couldn't. A pounding headache stopped me. I could move my legs a little bit, but they were sore and hard. My arms seemed strapped to the bed, so I couldn't move those either. Finally, I tried to say something, to alert people around (if there were people around) that I was alive. All I managed was a pathetic squeak. Fortunately, that seemed to be enough.