Queen Bee

life is such a roller coaster

I:"You want to break up duh do it"

And suddenly my phone blared out strings of very innovative profanities. Loud enough to knock the blinking daylights out of my auditory senses. I sat up on my bed. Daylights? Okay I just had a lapse of my processing powers. It is 2 am and anyone who called me at this ungodly hour deserves to speak to an idiotic me.

"Crystal what the hell I don't wanna break up. Like why would I do that when I called you to tell that I think I have fallen for him. I am in love damn it."

I yawned. Candice is in love.

Wait what CANDICE IS IN LOVE. My playgirl bestie is in love.

The only thing I could babble out was "are you sure?"

"Trust me Crys I haven't been this sure even when we took out Hunter's condom packet and replaced it with pads. Leaving his little friend down there hanging for a climax."

I stifled a laughter. Hunter was cheating Candice and even if she could not care any less, she wanted payback. Coz lets just say her ego suffered a huge blow. She hooked him up with the nerdiest girl of our class. The girl feared having sex like it was plague. Her life's motto was not to be carrying a tummy full of babies on her graduation day.(Candice's description and due credits to her).Candice on the other hand lured Hunter into a full blown make out session which I had to witness with utter grossness and giving my stomach fits of churning. I followed the recipe of her plan and got to his bag of condoms and did my work with great dept. So at the party that night where Candice was sure enough to bet her celibacy on the fact that Hunter would do it....he did It. And well we can still hear his painful screams when his poor blue balls could not get the solace of a female genital coz the girl was too horrified at the thought of leaving her teen-mom fear to something as insecure as pulling outs. And all we prayed for was that he could use his hands romantic enough to reduce the intense pain of losing out on a much desired climax.

So yeah this was my bestie and to think she was in love with Chase was something I needed to pinch myself to believe. This is almost like a dream.

"So your going to tell him and I can already hear the wedding bells with you in a white gown and then I will soon be a godmother and...."

"Crys I think we dream when we are knocked out dead with sleep and not when we are wide awake. Did you flush out every ounce of sanity you possess ?"
"Candice okay this might sound weird but then dreams are what we see with our eyes open and something that does not let us sleep at night. And I doubt Chase, my friend will ever let you sleep at night."

"Okay Crys your very horny tonight. I think I pulled you out of a wet dream or something."

"Aaah and here I was already drowning in wet dreams"

"Yikes Crys get a hold on yourself and yeah have a shower. The very image of you drowning in all that is gross"

"Would you like to join me?"

"Where?"

"In the shower where more. You can invite Chase too then we can relish a threesome"

"Okay I am out of this. I am your bestie but I will not be a victim who endures all your sleep deprived perverted thoughts"

"Be like this and you will be missing out on the bliss nature has to offer"

And click .There...I have successfully driven her off the edge and bought myself some time to gather the questions that are whirling in my mind and clogging out the damn senses. Its not like I have abyss deep knowledge about love or that I have any idea about the amount of pink people see when they are in love. Let alone all this I don't even know what symptoms people show when they have fallen for someone. If I go a little dramatic then maybe their oxygen vitals go for scuba diving below the saturation point or their pulse rate goes haywire, jumping off the cliff every second the ticking bomb explodes. Woah love is scary.....and fatal. Wait is Candice going to die of this?. Nah she is my fighter girl and ofcourse she has learnt from the best. Taming emotions is something we have nurtured well enough so when we have our weapons under our sleeves and our guards on patrol why dread the infestation of these oh-so-dangerous pathogens.