baby - alejandro rosario

chapter two

i've never fallen in love.
as a kid, i would be obsessed with romantic movies from the 90s and hoped my life would turn out like theirs. me and josh would watch them all the time in my basement while my parents were at work.
it's something about the movies back then that make love during that era seem much more special then any other film now.
the way the would court each other, and touch each other and just look at each other. and back then, they didn't have technology to ruin them.
i've never fallen in love.
my standards are high. and i genuinely don't think it's a bad thing that they are, on the contrary i believe it's good because it keeps me from getting hurt you know? it's a precaution type thing but i also know my worth.
there was this one guy, in middle school. Kairi Cosentino.
it was just a middle school crush that meant nothing more you know? but at the same time, it's was the kind of friendship that will forever stick by you & made you ask about the what if's.
-

me and kairi would often stay back and wait for the bus to pick us up from school. we weren't friends right off the bat, it took us a while of sitting next to each other on the bus and him reading a star wars comic that made us have an entire conversation about how creepy anakin is.
he was obsessed with anime's and would consistently tell me about the characters and it was the cutest little excitement that made his slanted brown eyes sparkle.
and it was like that for the last 2 years of middle school. him and i talking about our favorite things and being so interested in what the other had to say. overflowing with conversation and ideas and stories for one another to the point where we both knew each other like the back of our hand.but then high school came around and we just drifted i guess.
i do think about him often.
i wonder how he is.
-
i snap out of my gaze and look at the my physics teachers wipe board and saw everything that i missed during those 2 minutes that i dozed off for. i started to panic and wrote everything down on my notebook, but then my pencil broke.
i frantically looked around my backpack for an extra pencil but then i remembered.
cute soccer boy never returned me my damn ticonderoga pencil. a pack of those were like 5 dollars. why do i have to be so damn nice. i look around my classroom to see if there was anyone that i partially knew. why? because i wanted to at least ask someone i'm familiar with them just a stranger. they're gonna believe i'm stupid and unprepared. and that's NOT the move.
to my luck, the bell rang and everyone got up and headed for the door. I packed everything in my backpack and i started to zip it up but my zipper got jammed.
nevermind, i guess my luck wasn't so great.
i fidgeted and rugged at the zipper to see if i could get the piece of fabric unstuck, stupid jansport backpacks. but it seemed useless. i checked at the clock from the front of the classroom and i had only 2 minutes to get to my next class and get myself a new damn pencil.
then i felt a warm tall presence approach me on the right side.
"need any help?" he says with a slight change in pitch towards the end.
i look up and there he was.
he hasn't looked any different then when i last saw him 3 years ago.
same smile, same innocent eyes and same soft voice.
i smiled at him but he doesn't look at me with familiarity. my expression dropped. i probably look like a damn fucking fool right now.
"um yeah, my zipper got stuck. do you think you can fix it?" i handed him my backpack while scratching the back of my neck out of nervousness.
he smiles and takes it and gently tugs on the zipper.
he takes a short laugh and hands me it back.
"here you go. it wasn't much to do!" he laughs and smiles.
i smiled back at him and thanked him. i pushed in my chair and proceeded to walk out of the room.
"wait!"
he catches up to me and hands me a pencil.
"did you drop this?"
i look at it and it's a ticonderoga. i nodded and as took it as he handed it to me.
"aiyana! we should talk more. it's been a while since we've last talked and to be honest i kinda missed you." he looks down as he says the last portion and makes eye contact with me.
i blush.
"yeah sure kairi! that is something i would be interested in."
the bell rang.
i opened my eyes and started to turn the other direction.
"oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck!"
"so i'll text you then right!" he yells after me.
i looked at him and gave him a thumps up.
i turned around and blinked and somehow ended up on the ground.
what the actual fuck.
i looked up and i bumped into him.
why is god buttfucking me today with all these damn boys.
i picked myself back up and soccer boy just stared at me.
i gave him a dirty look. "i'm okay haha, thanks for asking"
he seems to have snapped back into reality and noticed what happened.
"OH MY GOD I AM SO SO SORRY. I WAS JUST - I BLANKED OUT FOR A SECOND PLEASE FORGIVE ME."
he looks on the ground and picks up my backpack for me and hands it back.
i giggle, "it's okay kid. no worries. just watch where you're going next time."
"what, no you watch where you're going!" he smiles and flashes his deep dimples at me.
my heart melts.
i rolled my eyes at him and smiled.
"hey what's your name?" i ask him.
"alejandro and yours?"
"my name is aiyana, nice to meet you!"
"you have a really pretty name, aiyana." he really concentrated on how to say my name. and it sounded so pretty when it came out of his mouth and hearing his voice pronounce it right. Aye-Yana. Ay-Yan-Na.
he held out his hand and gave me a fist pump.
i scrunched my nose and laughed and turned around and speed walked back to class.
i started to over analyze that memory now.
did i look cute? what if i had a damn booger in my nose! or food in my teeth.
i really hope I didnt make a fool out of myself.
jesus.
why does that small encounter have me smiling like crazy.
he still has my stupid pencil.