Him And I

Hope

Everyone dreams of getting their prince charming. I, on the other hand, am a bit different. Just a little. I hate relationships. Yes, you read that right. I don't believe in happily ever afters. I know, it's a bit crazy. But that story is for another day. My dream was to do law. Or be a detective in the NYPD like 'Kate Beckett' from 'Castle', but my parents thought I'd be begging on the streets if I chose that. So they put me into architecture school.
Obviously, I was upset for a long time, honestly, I still am. But I decided that I wasn't going to let my life go to the gutter, so I tried staying positive. Key word in the sentence: tried. Spoiler alert: it didn't work... at all. I was miserable. I thought my life was over. In short, I was depressed, and I was a huge mess. I hated being me, I hated life, I pretty much hated everything... And that's when he stepped into my life. He changed everything. He made me realize that life is very short, and that we should always be happy. I am an over thinker, and he thought me how to be calm. But more than anything, he made me realize that even though I have so many flaws, i can be liked by people.
In the one month that we were friends, he learned everything about me, without me ever saying a word. He knew my likes, dislikes, habits... you name it, he knows it about me. He inspired me. I wanted to be just like him... Correction: I WANT to be just like him. We are very similar, him and I. After 2 weeks of us being friends, he confessed to me that he likes me, but he hated relationships. And I had fallen hard. I knew we could never be friends again. I thought he would be in my life forever. I thought he would be there by my side forever and never hurt me, like he promised. I was shattered. He helped me, and then he left me to suffer again.
After about a week of me crying over him, I realized, even when he left me, he still helped me. He knew everything about me, all the ugly parts, all the mess, all my flaws... And he still liked me. He still stayed with me. He said I'm special. He said he sees himself in me. And so I realized, my people still love me, no matter how messed up I am, how rude and selfish I am. I am still loved. And I can't let anything stop me from becoming something great in this horrible, but somewhat awesome, life of mine. If he could look through all my flaws, so can anyone else around me.
He gave me so much of hope for my future. He may not know it, but he saved a life. He made a huge impact on my life, and I will never forget him.
What I'm trying to say is, never give up on your life or your dreams. Although, I can't promise you your prince charming, I can promise you, that you matter, that you are important. And nothing is more precious than life. Life is short, make sure you get the best out of it. Don't give up. It's your life. You are important to someone out there. You may not know it, but you are. Never despair. To quote a song he shared with me, "problems will come and go, konjam chill pannu, maapi." For those who don't understand Tamil, don't worry, I don't either. But, 'konjam' means 'little', 'pannu' means 'do' and I honestly have no idea what 'maapi' means. But basically it means ( in Shah Rukh Khan's words ), " take a chill pill." Or simply "don't worry too much about anything." Cause it's all gonna work out in the end. You're going to br okay. Just believe in yourself. Love yourself.