And, that's my life

Elementary

Elementary school as definitely the time that made her so bitter and mad at herself and the world. It may seem like a huge deal of weight for her to carry on her back forever to others, but trust me she's trying, trying to be a great soldier in the war that will come inside of her in these years that no one would think would make an innocent girl's life go down hill to where she's the complete opposite.

Kindergarten she was practically an angel, she would slip up at times and get talked to by one of her teachers but as far as that she was thriving in the class and made lots of loyal friends. She would do anything for her so called "friends" and that, was the most sad and worst desire that she wanted. She loves to make other people happy and put their lives first, but I guess nice people don't get what they deserve. She started modeling and fell in love with it, she was going to go far.

As she got older the kids got meaner, they would pick at whatever they could find, even if it was just a little speck of an imperfection there somebody was to make sure that they point it out so that others could laugh. At first she just kind of laughed with them until it became a everyday kind of thing, she wanted to fit in and make her friends like her. So as she went home everyday she would try to fix every flaw that they pointed out. When she went to school the next day feeling proud of herself for making the hurt stop and everyday they would find another thing to pick at, it was a never ending process! Nobody liked her curly hair, they said it was nappy and she needed a perm, but since her mom wouldn't let her get that, she straightened her hair. When she got to school the next day they said she thought she was all that because she had longer hair than them, so she went in her room that day and cut her hair. When she got to school the next day they said she talked and acted "too white", when she got home she look up what that meant and practice talking and acting like everyone else. Everyday she lost a part of her self-esteem, got more angry at herself and the world. She got so sensitive that anything could hurt her feeling and she would hurt them... physically, to where she didn't recognized who she was anymore and she was signed up for anger management. She didn't understand until years ahead why she was so violent and angry, because she didn't like this new her.

After years of Anger management and the same ole' things happening at school, but she moved into her first house. She had never had a house before, although it was her mom's house and she only lived in it she was happy again, even though it was because the happiness from getting a house was so overwhelming, her anger was blocked and barley even showed. The reason she had never had a house was because she would always have apartments, the only house she had ever lived in was her grandparents when she was first born then her mom moved out. She couldn't even remember that because she was just a baby. She loved to model and make videos. Her family seemed almost perfect other than her mom having men in and out of the house because in Bella's opinion, her mom couldn't keep a relationship worth her life. It was funny how when everything seemed absolutely perfect and her mom has gone months without seeing someone, someone calls from her old high school. Bella was annoyed at first because she and her siblings would get dropped off at their grandparents house while their mom hangs out with this mystery guy that her mom barley even knew w. Soon later they started hanging out too, going Downtown and taking pictures, making songs in his studio, and "sleepovers". She was a little skeptical about this dude but didn't know why, he seemed perfectly fine so she just shook it off. He was super nice, and helped every out. He was too nice though, too nice to be true. Bella surely found out why she had those feelings toward him, he was a really bad man. He's the kind of bad that's good at hiding what he has done and what kind of person he actually is. He was a child molester, and just when Bella thought her life couldn't get any worst, she became a victim. He would do terrible things to her while she was sleep, they hurt her so she woke up. Then now that she knew about what he was doing he would just touch her whenever he could do it without anyone seeing, whether if it was in public or when her mom went out of the room. She blamed herself for trusting him in the beginning. Bad thoughts were brought upon in those days of hell, "Did I somehow lead him on without knowing what I have done", " I'm must be trash for someone to hurt me like people hurt me" , "I'm just plain out worthless". The thing that killed that killed her the most was the fact that she was being tortured by her own mind. Her mind definitely drove her insane. That man was very aggressive when he didn't get what he wanted. Because if Bella would even start to tell her mom she would get a water bottle thrown at her because he always drinks water.