It Starts With Him

03

I stare into the white victorian mirror and do a little spin, trying to see if this outfit is up to par. I haven't done anything fun like this since last summer  - I feel like I almost forgot how it works. 

The only light in my room comes from the lamp, so I flick on the white Christmas lights I've kept up. This room needs a bit of remodeling, since the last time I used it was in fifth grade. It could be much worse, though. The walls are neutral so I don't have to repaint. Maybe just some new decorations and a new bedspread.

"Are you ready?" Lucas asks, knocking once and then letting himself into my room.

"Is the outfit okay?" I question, doing another spin for him. He chuckles and nods. "It looks nice, let's get out of here," he says, and leaves the room. I sigh. Boys are really never good help on outfit choices. I look in the mirror one more time.

Blue jean shorts, white tank top, and a plaid button-up, but unbuttoned. White converse to tie it off. It's very country-esque, but I don't mind. Country music kind of hits, anyway. 

I turn off my lights and half run down the stairs, my phone in hand. 

"You look very nice," dad says to me, and I laugh. I think all dads say the same thing when their daughter gets ready to go somewhere.  

I glance out the window behind the dining room table that shows me the beach. The sun is nearly completely down over the water, and I sigh in content. I'm looking forward to the carnival for the sole purpose of seeing that.

I kiss dad on the cheek, and Lucas and I leave out the back door that leads onto our porch. We walk down the white-painted steps in unison and I sigh as the familiar warmth of the sand hits the back of my ankles.

"Isn't the house bigger than you remembered?" Lucas asks and I nod without hesitation. "Hell yeah, but I'm not complaining."

Every step we take closer to the carnival not only increases the smell of cotton candy and popcorn but also my nerves. 

Why am I nervous, though? It's just a carnival. And it's not like I'll be by myself. Lucas will be with me the whole time. 

We go through the entrance and Lucas pulls out his wallet to pay for our tickets while I admire the colors of all of the rides and the variety of people. I missed the vibe of the south. It's always so warm.

Lucas and I strap on our bright green disposable wrist bands and go inside, and I take a deep breath, wanting the nerves to dissolve. Maybe it's because I thought I saw Elijah earlier that I'm so jittery. However, I was a good distance from the sand when I thought it was him, so it really could have been any blonde 18-year-old boy. 

I wish I could just give in to the exciting energy, but I'm too on edge. Plus, I feel guilty for leaving dad back at the house. He's probably admiring old pictures of mom by himself, while the rest of his family is out having a good time. 

I start to drag Lucas to the popcorn stand when I notice a small group of girls underneath a tree talking and pointing at us from afar. There are four of them, each one of them blonde. Is every single girl here light-haired? I feel uneasy having their eyes on us, and I look down at my feet.

Lucas, however, waves at them upon noticing their looks. They look shocked for a moment and then wave back.

Please don't come over here, please don't come over here. I mentally groan as they leave their spot underneath the oak, and make their way towards us. 

I know it's for my brother, not for me. Lucas just has that energy where you want to love him and be his best friend. While I've never been particularly disliked, he's always been the more prized out of the two of us.