It Starts With Him

12

"You want me to jump?" I gasp, suddenly breathless. He says nothing for a moment. He stays standing where he is, a foot away from me, looking into my eyes as if there's something interesting there to see. His stare isn't harsh like it usually is. It's lost its harshness - for now, at least. I feel that small feeling again; the same one I did in my room with him earlier.  I stare back at him, not breaking the gaze.

Finally, he moves a bit, just enough to snap me back to reality. I clear my throat and take a step back. "Yes, I want you to jump," he finally replies, crossing his arms, his eyes regaining the hard edge. 

I hesitantly walk past him and approach the drop off, looking over the ledge at the choppy water below. At least its clear. And it's not nighttime like it  was on the yacht, so I can actually see what I'm doing. But that doesn't take away my deathly fear of water. 

"Don't people die from this?" I say, a tremble in my voice that I can't control. He joins me at the ledge and nods. "Yes. Not always though."

I scowl at him and he laughs. He points down at my swimsuit in my arms and gestures to a large boulder off to my right. "Go change," he says, and I gape at him, suddenly feeling self conscious. "Change? Like, right here? While you're standing right there?" 

He chuckles and gives me an encouraging shove towards it. "I'm not looking," he says, and I take a breath. Well alright, then. I change into the swimsuit as quickly as I can, and then join Ace at the ledge once more. He doesn't look over me, his eyes trained on the water. 

"You know I'm scared of swimming, right?" I say quietly, expecting him to laugh right in my face like he normally would. Instead, I feel his hand rest on my shoulder blade, and I flinch a little against the touch in surprise. 

"You'll be fine. But you should go first," he says, and like that, his hand is gone. I feel myself relax a bit.

"Why should I go first? I feel like I definitely shouldn't go first, Ace," I say, my voice sounding like a child. I frown, hating sounding like an invalid. 

"No, trust me, it's better for you that way. If you think it looks scary and high from here, you'll be scared shitless watching someone else go first. You'll be better off going first, Dev. I wouldn't lie to you." I look at him when he says this, and I believe him. Something about his eyes when they aren't coated with the usual harsh edge is calming and trustworthy. Maybe under Ace Crawford's hard shell, there's something more. Something softer.

"Okay," I say. I mean, I think I say it. I didn't tell myself to agree with him, it just kind of happened. I just trust him. I find myself inching backwards so I can get a running jump.

"There are some things you should know before you go," he says, and I shake my head. "No, I got it."  He quickly approaches me and rolls his eyes. "No, you actually need to know them so you don't die," he snaps, and I freeze. Oh.

"Okay, shoot," I say stiffly and he laughs. 

"So, confidence is key. Don't hesitate. If you hesitate, you'll probably die." - I scoff - "Use your arms to steady yourself in the air," he says, and at this, he stands behind me and puts his arms onto mine. He lifts them up so they're out at my sides like bird's wings. I feel my body tense up again.

"Keep your eyes focused on the point where you want to land. And right before you hit the water, point your toes and press your legs together. If you do all that, you should be just fine," he explains, and I nod. His arms leave mine, and I find myself getting ready to run.

Run. Jump. Arms. Focus. Legs and toes.

I feel a moment's worth of hesitation, feeling my body no longer wanting to do it. I glance over at Ace, suddenly unsure of myself. But in his eyes is anticipation. Excitement. Kindness.