Her Misanthropy

Creep

Session #6, week two.

Me and my patient have really bonded, surprisingly. I've somehow connected with Damarius, no matter how stark slavering buggo this woman is, I've made a connection. I mean not 100% following her set of morals,....morals? Speaking of such,"Would you say your amoral, or immoral?" I asked. I'm not sure why I keep coming out of the blue with these random ass questions every beginning of our sessions.

"Immoral. Definetly." she staidly responded. Okay. So she knows what she does is wrong, just doesn't care I presume.

"I just don't give a shit doc". She said, almost as if she read my mind.

"So you understand what you do is wrong?" I asked reluctantly. What if she lashes out on me again because I called what she does wrong. We all know her beliefs are royally screwed to hell.

"Yes Dr.E, I understand that the rest of the world believes what I do to be wrong" she replied, hella stoic like. I jot it down quickly on my little notepad. I find it very strange how she speaks as if she's not human her self. Curious, I figure I should just keep pining on.

"I'm curious to know this." I stated, then looked up to the ceiling carefully finding my words.

"Are you aware that you speak of humans,... as if they are another species,...that you are not?" I asked. She winced, strangely uncomfortable, I guess she's having trouble with that question. I shifted awkwardly in my seat as her forest green eyes stared daggers at me, her gaze never faltering. She looked.....kind of....lost. She's usually so quick to answer questions, so alive and animated, but this question seem to weigh on her like a ton of bricks. My eyes widen a little when I'm suddenly hit with the realization that she's never been asked such a question. But how come? It is a question that I'm pretty sure everyone is itching to know. I'm pretty sure any human would have wanted to know. And I am the first one to ask it.

"I would say yes and no," she says, her eyes narrowing at the betrayal of the words that had left her mouth......so she did in fact think of herself as some what human.

"Why do you say that? What does 'yes and no' mean?" I asked, eagerness in my words, 'cause this shit was gettin' interesting. I am seriously wanting to probe deep into her inner thoughts and feelings that she seems to keep hidden so well beneath her cold, mischievous ass glare.

"I look like you, I feel like you. But I don't think like you, I know things you humans do not. I see things you humans can not, but try so hardly to find. I see through all of you, I have inhumanly mad observational skills Dr.E. Like I know that the reason you have a career as a psychiatrist is because you figured that if you can help others with their problems eventually you'll be able to save yourself from your problems with yourself. But their is something within you that tells you otherwise, that is the part you need to start listening to often by the way, your true self." She says, using her hands animatedly to express herself throughout her whole monologue as much as the restraints would let her, of my goddamn life story. I just blink, mouth slightly ajar, completely taken aback by this. She had hit the nail exactly on the head. "Also yes is an affirmative response and no is a negative response." She tells me knowing damn well I knew that, flashing me with one of those Beauty Pageant smiles, nose up to the sky.

She could very well be in a Beauty Pageant. For a murderous, quick-witted, nut-job, with no regards for humanity, her outer shell certainly defied her inner qualities. At first glance you'd probably just think of one of those Instagram models. She was almost distractingly beautiful, "Doc, I know I'm hot, but this fuckin' starin' has to be cut to a minimum of 30 secs. I'm now diagnosing your ass with Attention Deficit Disorder.", she says exasperated with a side of frustration. Like I said almost distractingly beautiful. That mouth.

"Excuse me", I cough and say dumbly. " But your'e really fascinating.", where the hell did that come from? I'll be chastising myself all night today.

"Too look at?", she says with a smirk.

"What,--I mean, pardon?" I say clumsily. I almost feel as if I'm treading on dangerous waters now, or about to.

"I'm just sayin' Doc. You stare at me quite a bit, quite often. And you just stated 'I'm fascinating'. So I'm asking you, am I fascinating to look at Doc?," she asks stoically with her ever cheeky smirk upon her face.

Naturally, I begin to stumble, "W-well, no--I DON'T MEAN, I mean, y-your'e not ugly, I'm not calling you ugly. B-but I'm just saying y-your'e as in--", Ii audibly face-palm, and let out an exasperated sigh of disappointment, and discourage. I sit there with my face in my hands for what feels like eternity until suddenly my thoughts of self-deprecation are cut short by a chuckle that of a 5 year old girl.

"Calm down, Doc. You look ready to self-destruct.", How does she maintain a sense of poise and amusement through this? "It's okay to admit attraction. Another trait I hate in humanity; hesitancy, and fluster. It's weak and unnecessary." Now I'm just about ready to die of embarrassment, and self-pity. "It's weak on every other human, but for some reason it's... cute on you. You see that Doc, I can admit attraction." Here's where the treading of dangerous waters start to pursue. "I can admit that I'm fascinated with you too, aesthetically. But not just that, I'm not too shallow. But there is something else besides that handsome face that I find intriguing." Scanning me she says as if she were the one with the PhD.

"Really?" I say meekly, like a girl being asked to prom by her biggest crush.

Damarius chuckles "Yes."