Dear Maria

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"Dear Maria, I am doing well

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"Dear Maria,
I am doing well. How are you doing my darling? My life is going well. The people out here are questionable, but I'll live. How is your life going my dear? My journey has taken me far across land and ocean.To a new and exiting place, a beautiful place. It's paradise. I so wish you were here to see it with me. I will return soon to tell you all about it my love." I read his letters again and again. It's been months since I received the last. Where did my dear husband go? I shed a tear as the thought enters my mind. What if he got lost at sea? My dearest one. Lost in the deep dark depths of the unforgiving sea. I here, not knowing, unaware of his passing, with no grave to visit.

I can't help but think the worst, I do not wish that fate upon him, but I can't help but think it. As I carry on with my everyday life, no letters arriving to my doorstep only the thoughts of more terrifying ways he could have been lost. I have no way of knowing. Why must he be such an adventurous soul? Why couldn't he stay home, safe? I can't help but think all these thoughts. The thought of his passing scars my heart, every time it shatters into a thousand small bits, for so to be glued back together with every glimmer of hope. Only to be again broken when it's lost. My heart can't take much more, it aches as it longs for him.

I'm now a childless widow, a woman without a man, without children. I am lonely without him, the loneliest. My heart, it is empty now. The life we planned together is no more. He is no more. There will not be a we anymore. Two years has gone by. Seven hundred and thirty days. I've been counting the days as they go by. I've counted them all. There has been no word nor sound. I have not receive a letter in two years. I have not heard of him in seven hundred and thirty days. I have given up hope, but I could never forget. Now my only wish has become for him to be resting in paradise. The paradise he described with such joy. And so when the time comes, I will join him there, in paradise. We will rest together, we will meet again. In paradise. In paradise for all eternity.

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⏰ Last updated: Aug 09, 2020 ⏰

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