The Lost Years

Arrangements of New Parenting

Barry's POV (still running around the city)

I still couldn't believe that this was happening. I had a son. But everyone knew before I did and that I couldn't get passed. How could they all know before I did? How could they not tell me sooner? Why didn't Caitlin tell me she was pregnant when she found out? If she really knew me then she would've known that I would've stayed and been a father to our child, through their first steps, first words, first smile, first laugh, first day at school, first crush, first date, all of it. I would've stayed through it all, but I didn't even get the chance too. She didn't give me the option. Thinking of all these thoughts that I missed out on I decided to finally take the courage to talk with Caitlin and maybe even hangout with my son after officially knowing he's actually mine.

I ran to Star Labs to see if Caitlin was still there. 

Caitlin's POV

I was sitting in Star Labs trying to rethink everything that has happened so far and to try and think of what's gonna happen now with Barry knowing the truth. I hoped it wouldn't be a bad change for too long, but I know not to get my hopes up especially since it was my fault in the first place. Out of the blue all the loose papers around went flying around and Barry whooshed in.

I turned around. "Hey"

"Hey" 

"I don't know what to say anymore Barry. All I know is how sorry I am."

"I don't want anymore of your apologizes. The only question I can ask right now is did you think I wouldn't have stayed? Or helped? Or cared?" I stared at him in shock.

"That wasn't anywhere close to what I thought at all. The total opposite."

"Then why not tell me?" He asked insanely calm.

"Because I knew what you had planned for your life and a baby would've messed with that for you. And I wouldn't have been able to live with you not living up to what you wanted."

"You were part of my plan. No matter what else may have been wanted, you were always a part of that. I would've preferred to have you and our baby in my life than any other thing I had planned."

"If I could take it back I would only for that one reason. But with everything else that followed not telling you I wouldn't. Cause if I changed everything, then I wouldn't have Melanie, I wouldn't have moved away, gotten this job, met Ronnie and had a chance with more than one person to love, I lived change. Yes I regret not telling you but I lived a new life after you and experienced so much that it made me a better person that I am now."

"Okay." he said with a blank face, which made me confused.

"Okay? Just okay? That's all you have to say?"

"Yes I am mad but I can understand that everything that's happened has made you who you are. It's made both of us for who we are and yes we can't change that as much as we might want to for some memories, but we can't change the past as much as we would want too. So we're just gonna have to accept that this is what are lives are like. But that doesn't mean that we are just gonna go as if this was always how our lives were. It's gonna take time for us to adjust, for me to adjust."

"Okay. That's understandable. So we're gonna have to think of an arrangement for this then."

"What kind of arrangement were you thinking?"

"Well for the first were gonna have to tell Josh the truth."

"We're gonna tell him now?"

"Yes. I've held the secret in for too long from the both of you, so if I'm telling you now, then I'm telling him now as well."

"Okay. So what's the next thing you were thinking of?"

"Well if you'd want to have sleeping arrangements with him then maybe give it a little bit so he can adjust to the news as well. Also, how we decide the days for whose with him or anything like that." 

After this statement he looked at me in shock for what I had just explained to him, but I mean that's understandable he probably didn't think this whole parenting thing was going to start right away. But I'm full of surprises for people who know me well.

"Okay. That sounds good." He agreed.

"Okay. Maybe we should go tell Josh right now." He nodded.

We walked side by side to the kids room we made when being at Star Labs was an all the time thing. When he opened the door I waved for Josh to come here and he did so. 

"Hey mom what's up?"

"We need to talk to you for a few minutes okay buddy?"

"Why do you sound so serious?"

"Because it is bud." Barry added making Josh look at him weirdly.

We guide him to walk into the kitchen so we can all sit down.

"So what's up?" Josh carefully asked.

"I know that you're gonna be upset by these news and that it's gonna be life impacting but we're all gonna adjust towards it the best we can.."

"Mom? Just spit it out already." WOW this kid was really both of ours.

"I don't really know how to tell you so Ronnie ...isn't your father." Josh looked at me with wide eyes at first than gave his thinking look.

"Barry is?" We both looked at him in shock.

"What?" We both said.

"It's the reason why he's with you for telling me isn't it?"

"Wow you really are our kid. You're so smart." I stated.

"How do you feel about that?" Barry asked him.

"I'm okay. It makes everything make more sense now."

"Like what?" I asked curiously.

"We bonded, more than I did with anyone."

"You know you raised him pretty well. He's got both our smarts and just for a young age."

"I know" I nodded.

After us telling Josh the truth we all started talking and having a family bonding moment enjoying the first family moment together not knowing for how long it could last. Next step we have to do is figure out how we plan on spending the next several years of our lives will be.