Depression?

How did this start?

I had two very good friends that I would always hang around! I was 9! They were sisters so one was 8 the other was 10. We were very good friends. (Not saying anyone's names)
We would have sleepovers and always be together! I went to have a sleepover at their house and someone kept getting closer and closer. It was early summer and I was sleeping there again. We were watching movies. Her step brother comes and asks us at 11 pm if we want fries and chicken nuggets. I say yes because I didn't have dinner. He comes up and we all eat them. We watches the movies with us.

I realize that he is moving his hand up to my chest. I freeze because I'm scared. So I let him do it. He moves his filthy hand lower. I'm mortified because I'm 9! I didn't know what was going on! I sit up quickly and everyone joins me. We all continue watching the movie in silence. About 10 minutes later he grabs my hand and put it in his pants. I just wanna go home. Then he pulls his pants down just a bit. I see it. I'm scared from what he's going to make me do, he pushes the back of my head down and I try to give resistance. I'm so scared! I keep my mouth closed but he pushed it on his penis trying to get me to open. I turn my head but he pushes harder. I couldn't breath so my mouth opened... I was scared. My eyes watering. He choked me, he finally let my head go and I got up and ran to the bathroom. I cried and cried.

My friend came in and said he touches her, when she was little he would put his fingers down her throat. I cried and after a hour in the bathroom I walk in, grab my stuff and sit on the porch because I'm to mortified to go home. He comes out and apologized. I went in and slept, went home the next morning like nothing happened, I knew that what he did was called rape. I knew all about it. I was a smart 9 year old.