Book One; Will of Fire (On Hiatus)

My Name

The only way to learn my name would be to listen. Unfortunately, none of the matrons really bothered with me, and if it was, it was to change my diaper or feed me, not to initiate conversation; as I was, presumably, still a fairly newborn baby. What person would waste their time initiating conversation with a being that, while sentient, was unlikely to understand them?

So I put trying to find out what my name was on hold, and focused more on experimenting with the perspicacious energy; such a thing hadn't existed in my previous life, and I was curious person by nature who just so happened to have nothing better to do. What were the limits - if there were any at all? Did a person normally have this much of it, or was I an anomaly? How long and how much could I use it before I would pass out from exhaustion? Was it normally so hard to regulate, or did my trouble with control come from the sheer amount that I had? If so, what could I do to remedy it so that I can avoid wasting so much?

(When I was one, I finally learned my name, as I continued where I left off in learning the Japanese language. It was Uzumaki Naruto- warning bells had chimed in the back of my mind for some reason, but since I could find no reason for the feeling, I dismissed it.)

I spent so much time experimenting that the way I was treated nearly went over my head; in fact, it wasn't until I was two and tried to play with some of the other children in the orphanage when the matron nearly bit my head off for it and told me to stay away from the other children even though I had done nothing to them that I noticed anything was wrong.

After that, I took notice of every little thing: how my portion was always just a little smaller than everyone else's, and how whenever I tried to get seconds just to get the normal amount of sustenance that I needed, there was always either 'never enough' or they would give me a dirty look when I asked. How I was always the last person to use the bath, so that as a result, the water I used was always dirty and lukewarm or at times, cold. How the blankets I was given were always thin at best, and threadbare at worst; and I didn't even get a pillow. How while the matrons usually looked at the other orphans with either indifference or a fond amusement, I was always subject to cold or condescending glares, or even outright hatred and fear. It confused me a great deal, so I racked my brain for any reason such a behavior would occur.

As far as I could tell, I was no different from any of them. I had all my fingers and toes, and I had no deformities to speak of. Perhaps it was my hair; it was an unusual color, or at least, by this place's standards it seemed to be - granted, golden-yellow hair that was bright as the sun hadn't exactly been ordinary back home, but it hadn't been particularly strange either. Or perhaps I had some sort of facial defect; I had never had a chance to look at myself in the mirror, so perhaps there was something else about me that was wrong. People had been ostracized for a lot less, after all.

(Case in point: Hitler had attempted to eradicate anyone who didn't have blonde hair or blue eyes - which was ridiculous. He hadn't even had such traits himself; why should he have troubled others about such a thing?)

Or perhaps it was something my parents had done? It made sense; if I were the daughter of a criminal, either one or two, and looked like either, depending on how serious their crimes had been, I would likely be hated or feared just as much in return. It also explained why everyone steadfastly refused to tell me about my parents when I asked - as if it were a taboo subject.

I concentrated the energy to the palms of my hands, causing it to glow a purplish-blue. I discovered very quickly that if you had a great enough concentration of it, the energy could become visible; mine had been tangible within the first five minutes - probably due to the sheer amount. It was, however, a challenge to make it thinner, though I figured I'd be setting myself up for disappointment if I expected the control that was apparently required to come immediately, so I made it into a long term goal - like becoming fluent in the language.