my life

my experience with him

Well,,this is how all begins.."vvvvvvv....vv.."MY PHONE!!it was a message from a friend of mind!!"hey Larissa,we're go in to the beach this afternoon..you wanna come?!!" Hummm???!! O.o"  nah I'm busy for today mate"it was just lies....just to avoid silly questions!..this really bothered me,not telling the reason..but inside I was seething with rage.."why couldn't I be like them"!!!I felt lost and struggled against that disease of not being like the others...trying to console myself in my mind..but it was too tough to support all these pains..looking out of the window,I imagined myself being healed one day from this terrible asthma that I had since kid...now it's becoming clearly visible for you guys..By the the way,,,that was the first reason that I felt myself different...but there are many other reasons coming up...keep reading!!!...it's just that I wasn't brave enough to fight with this on my own...while I was lost in my thoughts,the doctor  was having a brief discussion with my parents,, telling them that there has been  deterioration and maybe I will have to support this pain my entire life...ohh nooo!!! :0 this is not good!.yet,today wasn't an amusing day for me stuck in bed just because of this and now I had to support this all my life!!!it's a terrible nightmare...when I heard the news,I wasn't convinced at all!!it was as if all hopes had vanished in front of my eyes by a snap of the fingers..."snap!!!"...it was too heavy for me,so i burst out to release this anger in me.....,''injustice'' I cried  out in pain as if someone had injected me somethin...tears rushing down my face ,,,I didn't agree of the fact that I had to live with this....bearing all this was already hard..i had enough now!!!hearing my barks,,loll!!yeah I have to say "barks" coz moment's like that,you just bark like dogs..yeah..well,as I was just about to say,,,the conversation was interrupted by me..hihi!! Well my mum came and seeing me in this mood,she sat next to me and you know what she did?!!some of you will expect that she did what all mommy's would have done...cry with me to support me in these terrible moments or maybe cuddle me to comfort me but it's not the case anyway..well,,she only did a simple thing that changed me today!! She held me by my moisty hands ,and she prayed with me,."heavenly father,............amen"!!! It was wonderful..I felt comfort,,I felt a hand pulling me from my pain and holding me..from this day,my life  changed..Two years later in the church the pastor will tell a story which made me feel that I was concerned in it...he will say..there was a girl,she will have a great vision and in this,she will see in her life,,when she is living joyfully,she see's to paths on the sand,but when she has to face barriers in her life she see's only a path..and she says to herself..god..when I'm having a pleasant life your by my side but when I'm in trouble in my life,,when I really need you,your not here..but let me tell you the reason why there was only one path,,when she was facing problems,,well this is because the path was not her's,,it was god's path,and she was in god's hand....''plop plop''tearsdrops running down my face..of course,I wasn't gonna burst into tears as i was in the church..I wiped my eyes quickly while nobody was paying attention..actually it was just some tears of joy.so what??.a few drops doesn't bother anybody...I had finally realised that god was always by my side when I was ill..he was the one holding me in his hand when I was crying out...he's always there..this has been a tough but unforgettable experiment..this had helped me to strengthen my faith in him...sometimes the truth is difficult to bear..well the truth is that he is always here for us..but sometimes we are the faultives,,we are the one's who tries to get rid of him when the truth is that we will always need him in our lives....!!