you, me and quarantine | sean monahan

December 2019

sean🤗: gigi what do you want for christmas?

me: what? since when do u ask?

sean🤗: i ask you every single year and you always say that?

me: lmao im just playing this time around

sean🤗: okay so are you gonna tell me then?

me: i have everything i could possibly need sean, i swear you've bought more for me in the last two months than you have in our entire 6 year friendship (that being said you don't need to buy me anything, ever... like im here to stay, you don't have to buy my friendship)

sean🤗: for the last two months i haven't had a girlfriend for the first time in over 4 years and you've always stuck around for me and i really appreciate everything you do.

me: that was more meaningful to me than any gift you could ever get for me 🥺💜

sean🤗: are you free? wanna hang out?

me: sure, ill head over to your place

I walked, since the weather was mild for a December day in Calgary and Sean only lived a ten minute walk away from my place anyways.

-

I was greeted with a hug when I walked through his front door, my favourite pair of arms to be in. Sean might not know, but god, I would really do anything to be with him. That being said, we've been friends forever and at this point I just can't see it happening. Having him as a friend is a gift and I wouldn't want to lose that with him.

"How's it going? You look tired, Sean."

"I haven't been sleeping again, I wake up all the time through the night and it's like my body just rejects sleep."

"I'm telling you, seriously, that you should at least try edibles. It's not like they're illegal, you need to sleep."

"I'm not into that hippy dippy stuff that you are, G."

"Yeah okay, tell me that again when you're so sleep deprived you can't even remember what day it is."

He laughed, I loved that laugh so much, the way his lips curled up in a somewhat crooked smile, his dimples... I could stare all day, and he always catches me looking but to be fair, I see him doing the same thing when I'm not looking. I think we're soul mates, maybe not in a romantic way, but at least in a platonic way... we always want the best for each other and we would give each other the world if we could. I know I'm not entirely his type though, he likes those clean cut, raised rich girls with the attitude of a fucking snake. Judgemental, if you don't fit the exact same mould you can't be friends with them... you know the type.

I am so different than that. I mean for starters, I have a sleeve of tattoos, my entire right side from my shoulder to my wrist, my hip to my ankle and even my ribs are tattooed. I have a mixture of everything from wildlife, to flowers, to scripture... I even have a teeny, tiny little number 23 that Sean has never seen. I always tell him, "Sean, I have a tattoo for you, you just need to find it." But the thing is that he will never find it.
Why?
Because it's on my hip, hidden away... yeah, I'm not joking. I really don't want him to ever see it, but I like teasing him. There's always that mystery of is it there? Isn't it there? for him, and that's kind of exciting for me.

Anyways, it's not like I'm not a typical "pretty girl" either (I get the nickname Barbie a lot, and honestly I am not here for it. I'm more than just my looks.), I have blonde hair and I wear really light makeup but that's just because I prefer a more natural beauty look. I dress nice, I mean, I make a good living and I can afford some of the finer things in life. I still have a very girly sense of fashion, I am always in skirts and dresses and keeping up with the latest trends, but I see that more as a hobby than an actual reflection of who I am. And it's not that I'm not friendly and outgoing, I have a lot of friends and I love being the life of the party sometimes. It's just that I don't come from the same life as those girls do, the girls that Sean is attracted to. He likes the girls who were raised like princesses, to be reliant on their spouse. Like, I am so not like that. I saw what my mom did in order to raise my brothers and I, and I learnt my work ethic from her. I could not imagine living off of someone else.