The Drifting Self

Part 1 - He woke up more restless than usual

1.

He woke up feeling more restless than usual. Yawning as he opened his eyes, he noticed that Martha had already gotten up. It was 7:16 in the morning, and at this hour she must be making breakfast for the girls, who leave for school at 7:30 on the dot. Today was Thursday, and it was his turn to take them.

“Okay, let’s go”, he muttered, as was not uncommon, to gear himself up for another day. Not that he had anything to complain about. At 42, he was a successful history professor, who was published and invited to give lectures at the top universities in the country and, occasionally, abroad. He had two beautiful daughters: 6-year old Maria and 4-year old Ana. And of course, he lived with his stunning wife Martha, 35, a contemporary dancer who, thanks to her profession and healthy lifestyle, still had the body of a 25-year old.

That wasn’t all. Martha was loving, affectionate, understanding, everything one could ever want in a partner. They shared books and liked the same films. They rarely argued about anything more serious than what they ought to do on the weekend or whether they should buy a new sofa for the living room.

They lived comfortably, though not from his salary or the sporadic income Martha earned from her dance performances. It was mainly from the family inheritance. Martha’s father had been a successful businessman and left a sizeable fortune to his only daughter when he died three years ago. Her mother had died 15 years earlier.

He splashed water onto his face. Lured by the smell of scrambled eggs, he drifted sleepily into the kitchen. “Daddy’s in his undies”, shrieked Ana. The girls screeched in laughter as Martha smiled disapprovingly at her husband. She’d already told him she didn’t want to see him walking around naked anymore in front of his daughters. They were older now and while underwear was tolerable, it looked so old and ragged that it would almost be better if he were naked.

The scrambled eggs were delicious as always and he gobbled them up. He washed them down with coffee, loaded with sugar the way he liked it. He brushed his teeth, decided to leave the shaving for later and stepped into the cold shower. He threw on the jeans he could never do without and one of his striped polo shirts, a combo that many students dubbed the professor’s “uniform”. It was now 7:30 and the girls were ready to go.

Maria and Ana got into the car excitedly, telling him about their plans for the school’s year-end talent show. They wanted to do a double act. Maybe one of them would sing and the other would dance. Maria reminded Ana that this wouldn’t be possible since only students from the same class could perform together. He listened to them fondly and with some interest, his attention divided between the girls, the traffic and the pop music playing on the car radio.

His first class today didn’t start until 9:30. He still had time to drop off the girls, review his notes for the day’s lecture, read his messages and chat with the elevator operator in the Humanities building. The operator, a funny elder gentleman, often left his post to have a coffee with him, remarking that his job was useless (“if it was important, I wouldn’t be here”). He liked to chat with the operator, despite the inconsequential things the man would say. He admired his sense of humour and the fact that he was the least pretentious person he knew, which always made their conversations breezy.

He taught two graduate classes and supervised three students. His classes were popular and he enjoyed an excellent reputation within the university and with students. He loved giving lectures and his classes would sometimes turn into philosophical conversations, mixing themes relating to ethics, sociology and religion. He mediated heated debates among the more idealistic students and would occasionally have to make a joke or sarcastic comment to cool them down and regain control of the situation.

At five minutes to 8, he dropped off the girls at school, just in time for their first class. The weather was nice, the temperature pleasant and the sky cloudy. The girls gave him a sandwich kiss before leaving by the same door. He waved and watched them hop along as they joined their classmates on the patio.