Adore You

Chapter 1

Chapter 1

***Six Months Ago***

Sitting on the couch at Jax's house, he had me move in to help with the boys. Jax walks in and sits next to me and takes my beer from me and takes a drink. "You okay Jackson?" I ask and he just looks at me. "Yeah. Boys in bed?" he asks and I nod. "Been down about an hour." I tell him. I look at him and ask "Are you sure you're okay?" I ask. "Yeah babe." he says before kissing my cheek. I look at him for a minute and put my hand on his cheek and he leads into my touch. He leans forward and kisses me softly before standing and taking my hand. He leads me to the bedroom and pulls me to him. Kissing me softly, he deepens the kiss before laying me down on the bed. We start to shed clothes between kisses and he makes love to me nice and slow.

The next morning, I wake up and he's still in bed next to me. I feel him start to stir and he pulls me closer. I lay there thinking and wondering if this changes things. He tilts my chin up and kisses me softly. "I love you, Dana." he tells me. "I love you too Jackson." I say before he kisses me one more time. We get up and have breakfast with the boys before we head to the clubhouse. Chibs and Jax are in the office of the shop, talking and being very secretive. A little bit later, Jax comes over to the playground and Abel runs to him. He kneels down and says "Hey Monster. I need you to do me a favor. I need you to be good for Dana for me. Okay?" Jax asks and Abel nods his okay. "Good. I love you son." he says and Abel says "Love you Daddy." before running back to play. I have Thomas in my arms and he takes Thomas from me. "Hey Buddy. I love you baby boy." he says before kissing the top of his head and handing him to Brooke and she goes over to the playground with the boys. I look at Jax and he pulls me to him. Tilting my chin up, he kisses me softly and says "I love you Dana. Please remember that." he tells me. "I love you too Jax. What's going on?" I ask. "You're my best friend. I just wanted you to know I love you." he tells me before kissing me again. "I love you too." I tell him. "I have some things I have to take care of. Keep an eye on the boys for me?" he asks. "Always." I tell him.

That evening, I am sitting on the couch and there's a knock on the door. "Chibs? What's wrong?" I ask when I see he looks like he's been crying. "Lass, he's gone." he tells me. "Who's gone?" I ask. "Jackie." he tells me and I look at him shocked. "No. No Chibs. He can't be. His boys. Oh God." I say as I start to break down and he catches me when my knees buckle. He helps me to the couch and I ask "What happened?" He looks at me for a minute and knowing that Jax told me everything, he says "Some shit happened. Mayhem vote. He ran JT's bike into a semi love." he tells me and I look at him shocked. "What? Chibs, what's going to happen with the boys." I ask. He pulls a manilla envelope out of his kutte and hands it to me. "Everything you need is in here." he tells me. "Call me if you need anything." he tells me and I nod.

After he sees himself out, I open the envelope. I see a set of papers and see that they are custody papers giving me soul, permanent custody of Abel and Thomas. I see that the deed to the house is in my name. Then I see the letter. I look at the envelope and see my name in his handwriting. I open the letter and start to read.

Dana,

I am so fucking sorry you had to find out shit this way but after spending the night like we did, I couldn't bring myself to tell you what we were doing. Some shit got fucked up. Gemma killed Tara. Lied to me about who did it and I pissed off a lot of people. Including a couple of charters from our own club. I fucked up and the only way to make shit right was to take Mayhem. I know this is fucked up and I meant what I said when I told you I love you. You're my best friend. You're the one that I trust most in this fucked up world. I know my boys love you and that's why I am leaving custody of my boys to you. I love you so fucking much and I am so fucking sorry. I left the house to you. You can stay there with the boys or you can sell it. It's up to you and the club will still be there to help with the boys. When Tara died, I bought life insurance. Wanted to make sure that if anything happened to me, you and the boys would be straight so you will have that. Chibs and Tig will handle everything as far as my funeral but I want you to do what they tell you to do. The entire club will be looking after you and our boys. Please don't hate me babe. I promise that this was the only way to make things right. I love you and even from the gates of Heaven or the pits of Hell, wherever I end up, I will always adore you.

Jackson

I put the letter down and start to sob. When I get myself together, I pick up all of the papers and lay in his bed that still smells like him. The following days are filled with a small ceremony, just the family, me taking care of the boys and the guys sticking close. "Are you okay little girl?" Happy asks from the other side of the table. It's his night to stay with us. "Yeah. I think so. Just, Happy, was there any other way?" I ask. "No little girl. This was the only way. It's how shit works in this life. But you are a strong chick. You and the boys will be just fine. We got you." he tells me and I just look down at my glass of whiskey as I feel another tear fall.