Don't Leave Me (ON HOLD)

Chapter 7

-TRIGGER WARNING-

Bambi's POV

-2 hours before-

I clean my wrist with water and pull it from under the faucet. I watch as it continues to bleed. What's the point? What's the point of pretending everything's fine when I'm dying inside?

I watch as it continues to drip down my arm and onto the floor. I start to feel better as more and more blood drips from my arm. Maybe I'll feel much better if I cut more and allow myself to bleed. I look at myself in the mirror and decide what I'm going to do. I'm gonna do it.

I wrap my arm with one of my shirts on the floor and walk to my desk to find a pen and paper. I quickly write a letter to Namjoon, spilling my heart out to him about everything. I write whatever comes to mind: how we met, our good and bad times together, and how happy I am to have him in my life. I start to cry as I continue to explain why I'm doing what I'm about to do. I shakily end the letter with, "I'm sorry, but I have to float away and disappear."

I then fold it and move to my bed. As I'm putting the letter under my phone, I hear someone at my door.

"Hey, Bambi, guess what?...oh."

Namjoon.

I make sure to stay still as I hear him move away. After waiting a few seconds to make sure the coast is clear, I swiftly move to the bathroom and turn on the shower. I allow the water to rise in the tub for a bit, even letting it overflow. I grab the razor from earlier and freeze in front of the tub.

I stare at the overflowing tub for a while. Am I really about to do this? Yes. I am. It's too late to back out now. I continue to stare and don't realize how long I've been doing this until I hear Namjoon's muffled voice again.

"Hey peg legs are you still in the shower?"

I release a saddened giggle as I hear the nickname. A fresh flow of tears starts to fall as I realize that this will be the last time I hear his voice. I smile as I remember our last conversation. I scoff at myself for being a hypocrite. I was so happy this morning, laughing and joking with Namjoon, remembering how thankful I was to have him and our parents in my life. Now here I am, beat down and about to lose my life.

I move to shut off the shower and sit in the overflowing water. I look at the razor in my hand. I gotta do it to be happy. I gotta do it to be happy. I close my eyes and start to make deeper cuts into my arm.

I feel dizzy as I slowly open my eyes. I think I hear a muffled voice but can't tell if it's real or not. I can't see or hear anything around me. I drop the razor outside the tub as I slide under the water. The last thing I remember is hearing someone scream my name.