she's chasing me. she'll hit me again. i can hear her heavy breathing right behind me.
my heart is pounding fast, as i wake up. i can hear it like a loud drum in my ears. it feels like it's going to explode out of my chest. i try to calm down. however, i notice that I'm crying again. this damned dream.
my hand is sliding to the other side of the bed and i realise that surprisingly no one's there. my sigh sounds like pain. i wish she would stop haunting me in my dreams. i wish I could forget my past. i overthink, again. laying on my bed, covered with warm sheets. i just want to feel something. after another sigh i crawl to the small drawer next to my bed and check my phone. 4.30am. my eyes glance at the wall, which is covered with windows. the stars are sparkling beautifully. everything is becoming blurry again as the tears flood my eyes. you're an ugly crier. so fucking ugly. you're so fucking ugly. no one's ever going to love you. my thoughts are going crazy again. self-hatred, my most frequent demon.
after a while i finally manage to escape my head and my comfy sheets. the mirror shows me a sleepy, messy version of myself. i don't like what I'm seeing so i quickly avert my eyes.
while walking over to the kitchen i check social media but rapidly change my mind as i see another beautiful girl with a perfect body. damn. as soon as i enter the kitchen i grab my favorite glass, fill it with cold water and chug it down. the next few minutes i spend starring at the half-empty fridge, wondering what would satisfy me and also not make me fat.
suddenly my phone starts ringing. fucking hell, it's literally 6am. i give the phone my best fuck-you glance and realize that the caller has an unknown number.
how?
----------------------------------
/heyyy i hope u enjoyed so far /
/this story is going to be very sexual but also interesting in terms of mental health and recovery/ i think it will be a long one so prepare urself /
YOU ARE READING
too deep
Randomivy's world is dark. she fled from her abusive mom, who treated her like a waste of money and space. she fled from everything that could've hurt her any longer but there's still a well known emptiness inside her chest. she still wants to die. die in...
