late night kpop

I Still Love Him(Johnny)

A/N: watch the video above!

Looking into his sad but honest eyes made my heart ache even more. I was in shock not believing a thing that he was saying.

He said I'm the one for him he said he loved me. I couldn't think of a future without him in it. My hands were trembling, my heart was pounding fast. All of the memories of us being together was passing through my mind.

I knew he was too much for me. What a fool I was to think that I deserve him. I always got the sense that he became torn between being a good person and missing out on all of the opportunities that life could offer a man as magnificent as him.

He was charismatic, magnetic, electric, and everybody knew him. When he walked in every woman's head turned.

Everyone stood up to talk to him.
He was like this hybrid, this mix of a man who couldn't contain himself.

How can I let him go? I tried so hard to have this man by my side I did everything to be enough for him but that wasn't enough.

The sudden sting on my cheek brought me back to the small art studio.

-I'm sorry, it was like you were about to have a panic attack.

The image of his beautiful face was now blurry with the tears running down my cheeks. It hurts, even more, when he's this good. Maybe if he was abusive or have cheated on me I wouldn't have felt this much pain in my chest. I could've hated him and let him go.

His voice broke while calling my name. I wiped my eyes with my sleeves.

-can anyone else make you laugh?

He looked at me with shock but then dropped his look down not looking at me.

- no, but she won't make me cry.

I fell on my knees grasping his pants tight, he still loves me. I was sobbing so hard that the words were dying before leaving my mouth. I looked up at him. He couldn't look into my eyes his fists were clenched tightly.

- please stay. Don't say it's too late.

Finally, he looked at me his eyes were teary as well.

- let's not hurt each other more.

I felt a tear dropped on my face but it wasn't mine.

- I beg you, don't leave. I'll be better I do everything for you to stay. I'm gonna sell the art studio and will be the perfect wife you need. I don't wanna lose you.

He got rid of my grip on his pants and walked away. Without looking back at me.

- I don't want you to give up on your dreams for me. How do you want me to be at ease when you talk like that? Do you even think about my pride?

I screamed his name but he didn't stop leaving me in this room that looks even smaller without him. It felt like the walls were getting closer as I was crying on the floor for my dead young love.

And I remember when I met him.
It was so clear that he was the only one for me. We both knew right away. We were young and passionate, chasing our dreams with each other but as the years went on things got more difficult, We were faced with more challenges.

That was when we started fighting, not enjoying the small things we had. How can I stop an excellent man from wanting more, from achieving everything that he deserves?

Maybe I'm the one that should be blamed for not even thinking that we'd end up this way.

........................