DEVIOUS 2

Untitled Part 2

1997, May

THE MOANS, LONG AND LOUD TURNED INTO SHORT GASPS.

She was lying on her back on the glass and chrome desk, one arm was thrown over her head like she didn't know what to do with it. That, or she had totally forgotten it was still a part of her.

Her other hand gripped Paco's sleeve. He seemed oblivious of her despite the fact that he was fucking her on his desk. His pants and briefs were bunched around his ankles. His eyes were closed like he was meditating. His handsome face was relaxed, an eerie contrast to the intensity of his thrusts--evident in the tightening of his butt muscles.

Her knees were drawn up, pushed towards her armpits by Paco himself. Her red highheel dangled on her right foot, the other one was lying sideways on the floor.

"Look...at..me...please...look at me.." she begged, raised her head and chest a little so she could grab onto his arm.

She wasn't naked. She still had a black dress on and a pair of lace thongs. The thin strip of fabric wasn't meant to be removed. All she had to do was spread her legs wide apart.

And without giving any indication, Paco pulled away, simultaneously grasped his penis and simply jacked off to orgasm....it didn't happen.

Her gasps grew weaker. Lori struggled to breathe but her chest felt full and heavy, no matter how hard she tried, she could not get any air into her lungs. Paco's face looked eerily confused and shocked.

Everything started to fade. It was getting quiet now.

Suddenly, they were in the room with her. A boy. A young woman...

She felt herself floating.

SHE sat up on the bed when she heard his footsteps. Tatlong taon at apat na buwan na silang kasal. Hindi pa ganoon katagal pero sapat na para makilala niya ang mga yabag ni Paco. May kalumaan na rin ang bahay nila at umiingit ang floorboards sa hallway na papunta sa kwarto nila.

And Paco, whether he was aware of it or not, always stepped on the same floorboard that gave off a high creaking sound. She heard it now and counted up to three. Bumukas ang pinto ng silid. Wala itong expression pero ngumiti nang makita siya na gising at nakaupo.

"Hello, there." Bati nito, may dalang baso ng orange juice. Puting running pants ang suot, may guhit na asul sa gilid. Asul rin ang T-shirt at ang pares ng Reebok.

"Hi." Bati rin ni Lori, "I-I'm so sorry about my episode yesterday."

Halatang naguluhan si Paco, bahagyang nangunot ang noo, "Uh, do you remember what happened?" Ipinatong nito sa night stand ang baso ng juice. "I mean, before you passed out?"

Umiling si Lori, "No. Sorry. But I remember making a scene." Binabaan niya ang boses, "That must be embarrassing. Sorry, I put you through that." Tuluyan na siyang yumuko.

Naupo sa kama si Paco, hinawakan ang baba ni Lori, "Hey, it's okay. I understand and I was warned about something like that to happen. Just didn't think it'd be so soon." Mataman nitong tiningnan si Lori, "Where did you go? Sabi ng guard, may huminto raw kotse, sumakay ka dun. Kilala mo ba 'yun? Saan ka nun dinala?"

"Just...some guy. I forgot to ask his name. He asked if I needed a ride." Nagkibit siya ng balikat. "I got off in Makati and just...started drinking." Mahina niyang sagot para ipakita sa asawa na hiyang-hiya siya dito at sa sarili. "I've been drinking...didn't want to stop...gusto ko lang s'yang marinig...pag umiinom ako, naririnig ko s'ya...tinatawag n'ya ako. Sinundan ko s'ya...sa resort and..." pumikit siya ng mariin, "Sa likod ng bahay ako dumaan pabalik...you were in your office and you...suddenly I couldn't breathe...I knew it was my anxiety...pero pakiramdam ko pa rin, mamamatay na ako...I saw---"

"Who?" Paco blinked.

"Alam ko, panaginip lang 'yon pero gusto kong maniwala na totoo, Paco." A sob escaped her throat, "Gusto kong maniwala. Kailangan kong maniwala--"

Pinisil ni Paco ang baba niya, "Then believe it, Lori. Come here---" hinila siya nito para yakapin, "Gusto ko ring maniwala na babalik tayo sa dati...I miss you. I miss us. I need you so much." Kumalas ito sa kanya, ginagap ang pisngi niya, "Kailangan pa kita. I know it's not gonna be easy for us. We're in this together, right? Right? Please give us another chance, Lori."

Mataman niyang pinagmasdan si Paco bago siya tumango, "Ayokong mangako pero pipilitin ko."

"That's good enough for me." Ibinukas nito ang isang palad, "Here, take these now and I want you to just stay here. Rest and get better, okay?"

Her anxiety and depression pills. And they came with other pills that were supposed to protect her kidneys and liver. Kinuha niya ang mga iyon kay Paco at inabot ang orange juice sa night stand.

Natapon iyon dahil nanginginig pa ang mga kamay niya.

"Sorry--"

"Shhh, don't worry about it. Kukuha na lang ako ng tubig.

"Pakibilisan, hindi ko kasi malulunok--" isinubo ni Lori lahat ang mga tableta. Pero agad niyang iniluwa sa palad pagkalabas ni Paco ng silid. Hinila niya ang maliit na paso ng succulents sa nightstand, sa lupa niyon niya ibinaon ang mga tabletas saka uli inayos ang maliliit na puting bato sa ibabaw.

But she really was thirsty.

Hindi sa tubig.

Uhaw siya sa alak. Nai-imagine na niyang naglalandas ang mainit na likido sa kanyang lalamunan, lalapat sa kanyang sikmura at mula doon ay kakalat ang mainit na pakiramdam na magpapamanhid sa kanya. Katawan. Isip...hanggang malaya na siya. Malayang pakawalan ang damdamin.

Ilang beses na niyang tinangkang huminto sa pag-inom. She always ended up drunk.

She was tired of it.

Sick and tired of it.

May dalawang bahagi raw ang lahat nang klaseng addiction. Physical at psychological. Hindi sapat ang resolve na hindi na siya iinom kahit kailan dahil ayawan man ng isip niya, kailangan naman ng katawan niyang nasanay nang mag-function sa alcohol . And vice versa.

She had to beat both.

Kung gusto niyang magtagumpay sa mga plano niya.

Pahagis niyang tinanggal ang kumot at bumaba ng kama. She paced the floor. Sa ganoon siya naabutan ni Paco. Agad niyang kinuha sa lalaki ang dala nitong tubig. Inubos niya ang laman ng baso. It calmed her throat but she knew it would just be for a while. She would soon start craving her poison again. She could already taste it.

"You're still shaking. Get back to bed." Sabi ni Paco.

"No, I have to do something. Give me the phone, please."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, please. Kakausapin ko si Taka." Tukoy niya sa Japanese niyang business partner.