Your Own World is Better Than the Real One

Part 4

The last time we hung out we were in the library studying and touching eachother. 

Nothing too sexual. 

I'd driven there so we took my car back and made out in it. I told him that I wanted to go farther, and he told me he wanted to slip inside me so bad. Ugh, I was so goddamn horny if only we had sex, but it was late, so I drove back to our dorms. 

When I was driving back, I genuinely don't know if I said something to annoy him but when we went our separate ways something was off. 

He slowly stopped responding to me over several weeks and I just assumed that we were friends now. So being a good friend I sent him funny shit and asked how his day was going occasionally... like I did with all my fucking friends. 

This boy had the audacity to send pictures of him cuddling with this other girl. 

And I mean yeah it hurt my feelings but also, he could just be a good friend back instead of making me feel like shit. 

I mean is that too complicated?

I'm friends with the guy who I didn't have sex with from the beginning. I just did not understand why he had to be a dick and act like nothing ever happened. 

It got me thinking that I was just a complete and horrible person. And I mean I probably am but that's beside the point, I would never treat a person like they're nothing. 

I may be bitchy and annoying but I'm passionate and caring and I feel like some of my annoying qualities aren't that bad. 

Now I'm ranting about my low self-esteem, I'm sorry I know it's boring.