Let's fast forward to "older" Eliza's life. I was about ten. Growing up, I had always wanted to be a somebody. But I always wondered, how can you be a somebody, if you're not a celebrity or pop star? Well I wasn't for sure. But the best part was, I never wanted to be a widely known person. Sometimes people misinterpret the meaning of "being a somebody". I see it as living your life to it's fullest potential. Being who you are and letting no one tell u different, just being yourself. Now, at age ten, I wasn't thinking about what I was going to do with the rest of my life. I was kind of learning that when I was thirteen. I really wasn't understanding why we needed to know what we were going to do with the rest of our lives.
At age thirteen, I started losing my understanding of why I loved life. I had great friends, great parents (or what I thought), and maybe even a guy in my life. Why did I think life was so bad? I guess I just thought that I didn't deserve to be here anymore. When I first started hitting this low point, I was confused. I had went from very bubbly and fun, to angry, negative, and sad all of the time. I guess you could say my low point started out when my dad threatened to divorce my mom. He said her money spending problems were out of control. My dad and I sat at the kitchen table talking about everything. It's actually one of the first times he's ever opened up to me. I sat there just thinking, does he really want to end up just like his father, what the hell is he thinking? But what really hit me hard was telling me that he loved my mom and he would only stay with her for me. I remember the tears running down my face. They stung. Those were real tears. (Did I happen to mention that this happened on my last day of seventh grade?)
That's when my social level and self esteem went from high to low. The first day of summer, I stayed in my bed all day, didn't eat, only got up to go to the bathroom. That day, I didn't know not eating would become something that I wanted to do on a regular basis. I was never portrayed as 'fat' or 'skinny'. Literally, I have never liked judging someone for their size. But, that day when I got up and glanced in the mirror in the bathroom, all I could see was...fat.
