you don't always have to think of others, you know? sometimes, you need to put yourself first. you are always that kind of person who puts others before you because you feel like your problems don't seem to matter as much. I get it, I really do understand. but sometimes, you need to rely on others. darling, you can't keep holding your emotions back, you need to let them out.
we've all been there. that moment where you look in the mirror and you can't help but point out every flaw on your body. you stare at your reflection but don't see the person you thought you were. the stranger staring back is so much different than what you expect them to be. but you know what? you can't keep doing this to yourself. you're drowning in all this negativity and one day, of you keep believing the stuff you are poisoning your mind with, you are going to have gone too far with it.
it's the worst when you're alone, isn't it? there's no one there to stop you from doing the wrong thing. there isn't anybody to stop yourself except your worst enemy. you. others have no idea what you're thinking about, what you're doing. maybe that's a good thing though, you wouldn't want them to know, it's too embarrassing.
the scariest part of being alone is that you do one wrong thing and nobody will even know about it. you cut your wrist too deep, but may not be found until hours later. you tie that rope to the ceiling and finally kick the chair from underneath you, but nobody was there to help you when you had the last minute regret. it was too late. the decision to change your mind was taken away from you because it already happened and what's scary about it is that nobody even had a single idea you were doing it in the first place.
so why do we do this to ourselves? why do we hate to be alone but choose to be alone at the same time? why do we continue to hurt ourselves time after time even though we know very well the consequences?
the answer is such a simple word with such a huge meaning.
insecurities.
we hide the way we look, act, speak, and even our religion because we are terrified of we will get judged or not. it's happened so many times in so many different situations that it's even become normal to be judged. even the most confident people have their insecurities. its heartbreaking really.
people get judged for everything. you wear mismatching clothes? you don't have a sense of style what so ever. you accidentally put on your shirt inside out? your stupid. you wear or do something that is part of your religion? your a freak. you like the same sex? faggot. virgin? prude. you've had sex before? slut. you got pregnant and decided to keep the baby? you'll never be able to support it. abortion? murderer.
the list goes on and on and on.
but humans aren't born to be insecure, each and every single person is born with something different about them. everybody is unique. uniqueness is a word that everybody says but looks past.
what's it mean to be unique? being yourself is the most unique thing ever withstand. show your true colors and you are unique in your own way. there's something different about you than the person you're standing beside. different in a good way.
just think of a cartoon drawing of a sun.
I want you to look at the shape of the sun, observe it. yes, it's round. but do you see that sum frowning? no. suns always have a smile on their face, they don't care what shape they are and more importantly they don't care what others think. you shouldn't either. sure, you could point out many flaws about the sun. it's surface temperature is over 150000 degrees celsius, it gives people sunburns, it's too bright, sometimes it doesn't even feel like it's producing heat. there's so many more flaws you could point out but the sun doesn't have a care in the world, keep pointing them out. just remember though, whenever you see a cartoon drawing of a sun, 99% of the time it'll have a smile on its face.
