My Corona - a love story

March 28 - Xavier

I wake the second my bedroom door is yanked open. I feel something soft hit my bed. It takes a second of stink to realize it's one of Ninja's turds. I feel like puking but I know from experience that it's best to stay still and quiet. To pretend to be asleep.

"I'm sick of you just lying around like some stupid pampered prince. You don't even look after the damn dog!"

Mom is in another of her moods. I flip the cover up over my head to protect myself from another volley but she leaves and kicks my door shut. A second later, I hear her bedroom door slam too. Ninja starts barking like he does when things heat up. I can hear mom crashing in her room for a bit, stuff getting tossed about for a minute or so, and then she starts to cry.

I pull the covers back from my head. When she starts to cry, it's usually OK to get out.

I grab some Kleenex from the side of the bed and pick the turd up. Quiet as a mouse, I sneak out and drop it in the toilet. I look in the mirror. There's a bruise on my chin from where mom threw my phone at me yesterday but otherwise I look normal. I take a piss, rinse out my mouth, and pull on my hoodie and some shoes. My stomach's growling but I'll deal with it later.

Ninja's quivering by the front entrance. There's a small circle of yellow sopping into the carpet and I know I'll have to pay for that later, but he seems OK. He's been kicked before but not today, I don't think. He's stopped barking and is just whining a bit. He also knows that mom crying means the drama's over for the moment.

I sop up his pee with more Kleenex, toss it into the garbage, and get Ninja's pink collar and leash. It's best to get out for a while when the going's good. There's no more work for mom now which means she's inside with us the whole day. It's been a hard 24 hours.

I pick Ninja up like a football and quietly leave the apartment. The weather is wet again but it doesn't look like soaker rain. The streets are deserted. Some crows are strutting around on the grass, pulling up people's lawns and looking for beetles. I wrap my arms around Ninja and pull him in closely, kissing the top of his head again and again. "It's OK, little buddy. She didn't mean it. It's not your fault. I'll get up earlier tomorrow, all right? Maybe you can stay in my room."

He's still shivering so I take him out to his favourite walk, the one with all the squirrels and the occasional bunny.

I snuggle into him and it takes away the chill of the wind. "Shh, shh, shh." I'm sure my basketball buddies would laugh their asses off if they saw me cradling this little dog like a doll.

We walk in quiet for a while as the day brightens. There's a bunch of geese hanging out by the river. They're making a honking sound and Ninja's ears perk up. I let him down and sure enough, he starts barking again but in a good way. A big goose that is standing on the old wharf jumps down and swims away with the rest of the flock. Ninja is satisfied.

"Good dog. So fierce."

We head out down the dyke for a longer walk. It's so pretty here right now, no people. I mean, don't get me wrong, I love people but being alone is nice too sometimes.

I think of my grandfather and what he used to say when I told him about mom's moods. "Your mother has a strong personality but she loves you. When your grandma used to get riled up, I'd just go out for a walk and let her work it out."

I miss him so much, it hurts.

One time, when I was around 12, I pushed mom back. She kicked me out of the house that time and I ended up staying at grandpa's apartment for a week. I was pretty much a mess, blubbering all day, but I remember what he said, "You don't ever hit a woman, ever. You might want to and sometimes maybe she's even pushing you, but be the hero. Walk away." He also told me that I'd always have a home with him, no matter what.