My Corona - a love story

March 27: Kalina

I woke to the sound of my mom's ring tone going off and the murmur of her voice in the other room. Today was supposed to be the first day of her vacation time but I knew that the hospital would be calling. "Kalina, are you OK if I go in today? They're really stuck."

"Sure, mom," I holler.

She'd booked holiday time months ago for this week so we could go and check out some of the universities I'm considering. I needed to make the final decision. Now, with plane travel taboo and universities closed, I guess her holiday time will be filled with work. Not that I'm complaining. It won't be easy paying for all those school expenses next year even with the swimming scholarships that I've been offered. And for nurses, there are an infinite number of available shifts. There actually was even before Covid 19 hit.

Mom comes into my bedroom around 20 minutes later. I'm still in PJ's but I've done my early morning social media scroll, the first of about 30 a day. Today, her scrubs are retro, featuring the Power Puff Girls on a light purple background. Her hair is pulled back into a tight pony tail and her eyes have circles underneath them. We were supposed to do some baking today, something fun like cinnamon buns or donuts but there's always tomorrow. In any case, we're still low on sugar.

"Are you sure it's OK I go in? I know we had plans," she says, "I can call back..."

"No, it's fine, mom. I'll just go do the groceries. And maybe some dry land training."

She gives me a kiss on my head and then heads out, carefully shutting my door behind her, "Love you!"

"Me too!"

She hasn't mentioned anything about dad coming west again. I think she knows I don't want to hear about it. Maybe he found some old girlfriend he can shack up with in Outremont, someone with a big house and a private pool. Imagine.

My phone lights up with a new message. Xavier's awake. I thought after yesterday, he'd be texting up a storm but he's been pretty quiet. No activity on media either. He messages:

Can't do garden 2day.

No worries. It's rainy outside anyway.

What U doing?

Going for groceries. Wish me luck. U?

Looking for job. Tell me if Safeway hiring, haha.

LOL

He sends me a meme of a person in post apocalyptic armour with the caption, "Going for groceries. You need anything?"

Haha

I haul myself out of bed and pour a bowl of Froot Loops and a glass of orange juice. One advantage of not being in training is that I can eat what I want. I open my email app and see the daily training plan sent from my swim coach. There are around 7 unopened emails from her. I know I'm going to have to open them up at some point but I'm afraid to. The thought of it makes my stomach clench. I'm not sure why.

I'm starting to feel this sore feeling in my throat these days. Last week when it started to happen, I thought it was Covid and I started gargling with salt water, waiting for a fever to show up, and keeping my puffer handy. Now I know that the sore throat is from being stressed and uptight all the time.

There's so much to trigger me these days, it's a minute to minute battle to keep breathing some days.

But Grandma still needs her sugar and she's not answering her phone calls today so I'm going to pick up some food supplies and leave them outside her door. I grab a reusable shopping bag, consider whether I should take one of mom's masks or some gloves, decide against it, and head outdoors.