Pretending...
That is what Rory has done these past years. Ever since her husband died... While she recovered...
She had a chance to spend more time with their daughter, but he would never even get to see her. The Rory you all knew and loved was gone... she left the second the love of her life did, now she is just an empty shell of what she used to be.
Even though Rory was still here Ari grew up without a mom and dad. She was not even one when her father died, she couldn't even remember him. Grandpa Mitchum has shown her lots and lots of pictures of him and her mom.
In a week would be Ari's birthday, her 18th birthday. She loved her grandparents very much and loved them for raising her but she couldn't help but wish her mom would return and celebrate with her. Every year she wished for it, though she knew it was probably never going to happen. Sometimes it was even hard to remember her.
-
"And Logan?" Mitchum inquired.
"Still in surgery," Francine told him.
Mitchum winced, "what happened tonight?"
"Lorelai's husband showed up at my home. I didn't know who he was when he asked for Rory, but when Rory saw him I could see her tensing up. She asked me to check up on Aurora, my guess is that it was to keep me away from him, when I came back she was on the ground unconscious and Logan was punching him with Chris trying to pull him off. That's when he reached for his gun, Chris tried to talk him out of shooting and it worked until the cops came in. Next thing we hear a loud shot and we see Logan sinking to the ground, clutching his chest," Francine explained everything she knew.
"What happened to Rory?" Ronnie asked.
"The guy was choking her if Logan hadn't done something we'd be planning her funeral right now," Chris choked back the tears.
"And now we might be planning his!"Mitchum spat. It just came out, understandably so, under these circumstances.
"I'm sorry."
All heads turned to the source of the tiny, groggy, and hoarse voice. "You're awake!"
"No sorry sweety, I didn't mean to sound that harsh... I want you to know that whatever happens to Logan you can't blame yourself alright?" Mitchum said as he took her hand in his. "Never."
A few hours passed by and finally, someone came with a stale face, "We're very sorry, we did everything we could. There was too much internal damage."
"Thank you," Mitchum said as tears already streamed down his cheeks. He just lost his son.
-
When they told Rory after she woke up again she wished she had never woken up. She was left feeling empty, half of her was missing.
From that moment on there was a darkness she had never felt before.
A week after Logan's funeral she took off to Europe, leaving everyone behind. She was deep in the dark hole, no one could stop her. Finn and Colin followed her, they once promised to their friend that if something happened to him they would take care of her.
In Europe, she did everything to forget her pain, excessive drinking, drugs, sleeping around with hot strangers, but nothing worked, whatever she did she could never get him out of her head. She felt this immense loss.
-
After 18 years this feeling of loss hadn't changed, she still felt this darkness inside of her, but she knew it was time to move on. Every year on her daughter's birthday she lit a candle for her, this year her dear friends, who had let her do her own thing these past years without arguments, had convinced her to return home. To surprise her daughter on the day she would turn eighteen. At first, she had been hesitant, with good reason, she had left her behind as if she had meant nothing to her. The truth is that she was scared, Aurora looked so much like her dad, even when she was so small, it would be like a constant reminder of him, the person she still loved the most in the entire world.
Rory knew that Aurora would be mad at her, and even if she wasn't, her dad sure would be. She would have to win back their trust and prove herself.
Family is important, she realised that now, Finn and Colin helped her realise that and come back to that, and she desperately hoped that everyone that she hurt would forgive her for taking off like she did.
She stood in front of the house, the mansion, it towered over her. It looked bigger than when she left. Was it possible for buildings to grow? Or was it the tightening feeling she got in her chest by staring at it, the memories, and the people who would be in there.
How would they react to seeing her face? Her dad? Daughter?
What would they look like?
What would they think of what she looked like now?
She felt two hands on her shoulders as they gave her a squeeze, she looked at the two boys who had been with her these last 18 years, who helped her out of trouble. The boys who would follow her into a fire, who she would take a bullet for and the other way around. These boys saved her life more than once. "I'm scared."
"We know. But remember you are fearless darling, you are our queen, and we will be with you every step of the way. No matter what happens in there we are with you," Finn told her reassuringly.
"what if they don't forgive me? What if they don't want to even see me?"
"Then you will know, but darling, you have to try, wouldn't you rather find out then wonder about the 'what if's' forever?" he said. "You are stronger than you know."
Rory took a deep breath and closed her eyes, the boys waited patiently as she released that breath slowly from her lungs, "ready?"
"Whenever you are."
She blew out another breath as she took to first step closer to the door and she continued the nerve-wracking walk to the door muttering the words Finn had said earlier, 'you're fearless', over and over again to calm herself down.
Colin pressed the bell for her, as she stood still in her spot, frozen. "I can't do this, I changed my mind, we're leaving."
"Too late," Colin said just as the door opened.
The door opened and there stood her father when he registered who was standing on his porch his mouth dropped open, he stood there in complete and utter shock.
"Hello, daddy," she managed to croak out.
Chris kept gaping at them wide-eyed and with his mouth open.
"You should close that mouth, mate, you wouldn't want to catch a fly," Finn joked, trying to light up the tense situation.
Chris recovered himself but still looked at them in shock. "Rory?"
"It's me, Dad, I'm here," She said, her voice cracked because of the lump in her throat.
"Oh, Ror," he stepped out and hugged his daughter tightly.
"I'm so sorry," Rory now had tears running down her cheeks.
"We'll talk about things later, right now you have to see your daughter. Let me tell her first," Chris told her. "I'm glad you're here, kiddo."
-------------------------
"Grief is like an ocean. It's deep and dark, and bigger than all of us. And pain is like a thief in the night: Quiet, persistent, unfair, diminished by time and faith and love." -Samantha Walker (One Tree Hill)
"I have to tell myself to just be happy, but I don't feel happy. And when I try to change it, when I try to remember what being happy felt like, I... can't. I don't feel joy. I don't feel inspired. I feel numb." -Haley James Scott (One Tree Hill)
