20: breaking an entry

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after we hugged he drove me home, we both went in because it said it was gonna rain soon, that's probably why it was so cold outside, so as Hobi grabbed a blanket from upstairs I made us both a warm cup of coffee, I couldn't stop thinking about Jimin, every thought I had was about Jimin, I sighed and brought the mugs to the coffee table, I sat them down and sat on the couch, he then came down and sat beside me, he covered us both with a blanket and we grabbed our mugs and sat there shivering, he noticed my shivering was worse then his, he sighed and got up, he then went over to my fireplace and put logs in, then basically made a bright warm fire, he then sat back down covered himself up with the blanket and hugged me,

I lied my head on his chest. Even so, being with my high school crush still didn't make me happy inside, I kept thinking about Jimin and how he just left me, I know it's my fault though, like always, I sighed and he cleared his throat, "Soya?" He asked, "Hmmm?" I replied, he then pulled me away from him so he could see my face , he looked me in my eyes with a serious look, "Ne?" I said, " do you want to move to the states with me? " he asked with the light from the fire shining on him, "huh?" I asked surprised by his asking, "I was thinking we could have the wedding next month, but before then we could go to the states and have a vacation to see if we like it there, so?" He asked playing with my ring on my finger, "sure, I'd like that" those words flew out of my mouth, WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME?!, I KEEP AGREEING TO DO THESE THINGS I OBVIOUSLY DON'T WANT TO DO!!!, I guess it's because I'm scared to say Ani, he might get upset, and a ray of sunshine as himself should never be upset, I then gulped and his smile got bigger and bigger, till it looked like this,

 Even so, being with my high school crush still didn't make me happy inside, I kept thinking about Jimin and how he just left me, I know it's my fault though, like always, I sighed and he cleared his throat, "Soya?" He asked, "Hmmm?" I replied, he...

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I grinned by his smile, he then closed his mouth only smiling with his lips, he then leaned his head on his arm, "what's wrong?" I asked, he wouldn't stop smiling. " Nothing" he responded not losing his smile, "I just don't know how me out of all people found the most perfect, heartwarming, loving girl to call his lover😘😍" he said STILL smiling, I blushed a bit, "Hobi, I'm not perfect, I have so many flaws" I said lifting the corner of my mouth,

"but to me you are" he said with a calm quiet soothing voice, he then eyeballed my lips and slowly leaned in to kiss them, I was going to push away but didn't, I excepted his lips to touch mine, he then kissed me softly and....g-good, it kinda felt like jimin's kisses, tbh, I liked it, a lot, I kissed him back, he then started French kissing me, i-i French kissed him back, he then started moving towards me and I fell on my back but I was still on the couch, now he was hovering over me, he then kept kissing me, I gripped into his sleeve, he then touched my thigh, he backed away a little, "a-are you.....um....did you shave?" He asked, I didn't understand , why did it matter?, "Huh?" I said confused and he turned red and looked at my down Area, o-oh, he wanted to do IT, I gulped but if I said Ani he'd be upset, so I excepted, I really need to start saying Ani, he then started kissing me again, but as he kissed me I felt him unbuckle then unzip my pants, I didn't worry about it though, because I was unbuckling HIS, then later after we had no clothes on it s-started, and holy crap, he was even more rougher then Jimin, I wanted to cry constantly but not from pleasure, from pain,

as he kept thrusting deeper and deeper I stopped him, I was painting and sweating from pain, "A-Ani, please.....I can't take this pain, it's not even pleasure, it's just pain" I said huffing and puffing shaking, I could tell he knew he was in the wrong, he nodded and took his member out, he put his pants on and handed me my clothes, "mianhaeyo" he said, I sighed and stood up then got dressed, "I forgive you, it wasn't your fault, my Vagina is just to small, it can't take such a big uh.....um..." I said looking at his bulge, he then smirked, " I understand " he said, I wiped my sweaty forehead and kissed his cheek, "w-we can they again.....later" I said and he agreed, soon after the rain stopped it was night time, we looked outside at the clear sky, it was so beautiful, it had stars in the sky and barely clouds, I then saw a shooting star, I gasped, "make a wish" he whispered from behind me, I closed my eyes and wished, I wished for me to do the right thing, I then opened my eyes and he back hugged me, "do you know what I wished for?" He asked, " Ani~" I said pouting, "I wished for us to get Married~, and to have kids~, and to be one happy family!!!" He said excited and happy, I chuckled, "gosh, I wish all wishes were so hopeful" I said looking at the sky,

"They can be, people just don't wish hopeful things" he said which was true, they wish stuff that's so easy to happen, or stuff that's so impossible to happen, nothing inbetween, I sighed, later that night I went to sleep and Hobi went home,

<<2 weeks later>>

We had 22 days left till our big day, but tbh, I wasn't so excited for that day to come,
I found an easy job that payed well, it was a waitress at "Jin's cuisine finest"😂 he allowed me to work there but warned me that he wasn't gonna go easy on me just because I'm his dongsaeng, but it's fine, I like a challenging boss, but tbh it's kinda hard working here, it's so busy 24-7 that you can't leave your post for one moment before a customer's like, "I want to speak to the owner, The boss, the manager, SOMEBODY!!!" You know😂😅, but *sighs* the last time I've spoke and seen Jimin was at that park, we haven't texted nor called each other since then, I feel lonely, I never want to leave my house unless it's to plan out the wedding or to go work, but other then that i just sit home and drink alone, so today I drank a little to much, I was sitting infront of my bed propped against it crying while drinking whiskey, when I heard someone walking downstairs, I tried to stop my sobbing and tried to stand up, but I was Wobbling, I then walked downstairs trying not to bang onto a wall, I was holding my empty whisky bottle and it looked like the room was spinning, I then saw a figure standing in my kitchen, "J-jimin?, H-Hobi?" I was guessing who it was because the whiskey made my vision blurry, I hiccuped a couple of times and swayed a little , they then started walking towards me,

"such a pretty girl" they said and stroked my hair on my shoulder, but the voice....it didn't sound familiar😰😐

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