H5-0 // MacGyver One-shots

Heartbroken - Mac x Riley

*takes place after the episode "Mac + Desi + Riley + Aubrey"*
Riley's POV
I knocked on Mac's door, sure he was still awake.
"Riles?" He asked as I walked in.
"Aubrey broke it off," I said, trying my best to keep it together.
I explained my situation and he offered to let me stay with him for a while.
Then he hugged me.
It reminded me of the night after I broke up with Billy. It was almost the same. Same guy, same house, same arms.
It felt good to be cared about. It felt good to be hugged. Maybe it was the adrenaline or the feelings left over from the breakup, but Mac's hug made everything better. It felt like a hug I should get from a boyfriend after a bad day.
I wish it was the hug I'd get after a bad day.
Mac and I had been friends for a while now. We trusted each other with our lives. I trusted him more than almost anyone. I let myself cry in front of him. He'd been there for my happiest days. I don't let people in like that unless they really earned my trust.
So yeah, I loved the hug.
"So, do you wanna talk?" He asked as we finished the food I brought over.
I shrugged. "I guess," I sighed.
"You don't have to if you don't want to," he said reassuringly.
"No, I do, really," I explained.
"Well, obviously he was shaken from the multiple traumatic experiences that happened this evening. I had to explain my life to him. He asked if I like what I do, the risks I take. And yeah, I was honest. I love it. He doesn't. I guess it's too much action for him. He said that he doesn't think he can ever trust me because of what happened and the lies I told. When I brought up the lies he told, he argued they were different. His were small, short term lies. Mine were life changing, life threatening lies that meant he would never trust me. Will this just keep happening, Mac? Every time I find someone who makes me happy and I can commit to, something bad happens. With Billy, he cheated. With Aubrey, he can't trust me anymore. I can't keep this secret life crap up anymore. I'm tired of it. You and Desi both work at Pheonix, there weren't as many secrets there. When will I ever end up with something like that?" I criticized myself for my bad choice in men.
"Riley, any man is lucky to have you. Just because they're douchebags or people who don't know how forgiveness works doesn't mean it's your fault. And what Desi and I have isn't all that perfect. The only reason we didn't call it off was because we realized Phoenix was our thing. That's what's keeping us together. Quite frankly, it sounds way worse out loud, but it's true. It's not always meant to be, Riles. Sometimes you just have to wait for the right one," he said softly.
"Yeah, I know. It just feels like every time I'm in a really committed relationship, with someone I trust, everything gets messed up. You know, I'm almost starting to think it's me. It makes sense. With Billy, I wasn't what he wanted and I wasn't good enough. With Aubrey, I ruined things because of what I do," I sighed. It was true. I was the only thing that stayed the same each time. In Mac's language: the constant.
"Riley, don't you ever believe that. You're smart and amazing and good-looking. It was Billy that wasn't good enough and Aubrey just doesn't understand what you want in life. I know break-ups suck, but you'll be okay. You're literally, like, the toughest, coolest person I know. You'll find your 'someone' at some point, I know," he smiled reassuringly, opening his arms and pulling me into a hug.
"Mac, I can't even explain how much I appreciate that, all of this. You're really a great friend to have," I smiled as we hugged.