In An Attempt To Gain Power

Marchin On

"Mother I'd like to have my magical affinities tested now." I confidently stated.

My mother looked down at me and sighed. "Alright, I'll inform the priest that it is time."

While preparations were being made, I walked back to the small stage where my father sat. I smiled at the teal haired man in front of me. He had a blank face right now but I knew that he was only bored and wasn't mad at anything.

"Are you here for the affinity exam?"

"Yup! Mother is getting the priest now."

"Look, Meri," my father suddenly had a serious aura around him that made it seem like what he was going to say was important, "You're mother and I love you very much. and no matter what attributes or powers you get, we will continue to love you."

My heart seemed to cry out to him and my eyes seemed to begin burning. Instinctively, I head-butted into my father and hugged him close like the clingy child I was. Father was surprised at first but he composed himself and patted my head gently. I clung onto him tightly. I never wanted this warm feeling of family to go away.

In my previous life, my parents didn't care much for me, always taking care of my younger brother. They treated me as if I was supposed to accept the fact that I wasn't as cared about. This made me cherish the love that my current parents had for me. I want to always feel as though I was playing in the clouds.

Father started chuckling to himself which pulled me back to reality. "I always thought that you were a very serious person. I suppose you are a child after all."

Father continued to laugh at my childish immaturity. This caused me to feel embarrassed about my shameless behaviour, my face began to feel hot as I muttered under my breathe, "S-shut up..."

To my relief, I was soon saved by the appearance of my mother and the priest. The priest carried a crystal ball that emitted an aura of knowledge. He approached the centre stage as I followed after him.

"The affinity exam will now begin for Meredith Celcelis Virtutis." The priest had announced to the crowd. This caused all the guests to fall silent as the main event was about to begin. "Now place your hand on this ball and it will tell you your affinity level and your power."

My body quivered suddenly as my heart began to thump out of my chest. Sweat began forming on my forehead as I inched my shaking hand towards the crystal ball. This moment would decide my future and my value in this world.

It's fine, just place your hand on the ball. Your results are going to be perfectly fine, a childish voice resounded in my mind. When I normally talk to myself, my mind doesn't sound like this, but maybe it was because of the stress.

Gathering a small amount of courage I placed my sweaty hand on the ball, squeezing my eyes shut.

The room was silent in anticipation.

I felt the stares of many different people aimed at the crystal ball.

But I heard mutters of disappointment afterwards. I opened my eyes to look at the crystal ball.

"Water magic, the power level is average."

The guests applauded me unenthusiastically. Water magic was extremely common here and is thought to be weak as all it could do was splash an enemy with a refreshing 'blast' of water. It was only thought to be useful when there was a fire. What's more, is that my strength of water was generic. It was by no means bad but it wasn't outstanding in the least.

I let my hand drop by to my side, feeling a little empty.

"Thank you for attending this party, this concludes our j-joyous occasion." As I was stepping down from the stage, the guests began to trickle out one by one. Though a few had stayed behind.

"Well look at that! The girl's practically powerless!" Jellia with her horridly bright dress had slandered against me with a vicious smile before leaving the party. She just had to get one last insult in before she left, didn't she?

Her minion didn't leave with her though, instead running toward me. "My name is Nina, Nina Marigold. I'm sorry for Jellia's repulsive behaviour. I hope that we can become friends although I may be mean when I'm in Jellia's presence. I hope you understand."

I was slightly confused by this but felt glad that I had made a friend. "Sure! It's nice meeting you"

Nina bowed politely and then ran towards the direction Jellia had gone. The rest of the guests had disappeared by now. Leaving me on my own with my parents.

I told them that I was sleepy and was going to go to my room to sleep for the night. This was half-true. I was indeed tired but I knew that I wouldn't be able to sleep at all and instead be kept up by my thoughts.

I jumped onto my bed, the feeling of sinking into it was satisfying and I yearned for that warmth.

I'm average. Completely, utterly average. In the world of nobility, your worth is determined by your abilities, and most nobles had more strength than I. Nobody would want this family to rise to a higher political strength. Nobody would think that I mattered. Noone. 

By the time I realised my tears, it was too late. I was going to let it all out tonight. I needed to cry. And I'd keep crying until I had no tears to shed. I bawled and shed tears to the amount I thought I'd never shed. Eventually, I had cried myself to sleep. I dreamt of many things that night, but all of them weren't entirely happy, always with some kind of twisted or dark tone.

I dreamt of what my subconscious believed to be the next 10 years of my life. My parents had come to hate me for my uselessness,and instead adopted a boy to be their heir instead. He had always taunted me in that dream. I also had a friend whose face was always blurred. They had tortured me many times in that dream.

I had many dreams of my death. Death by decapitation, drowning, stabbing, fire and fed to the wolves.

The next morning when I finally awoke, I was sweating heavily. I felt pain throughout my entire body, shooting through me as if I was electrocuted. I felt like crying, screaming and laughing. The pain was unbearable but I never found a single injury that could have caused this. The pain subsided after minutes of agony, leaving me feeling numb.

That morning I had no more tears left in my body. And I told myself that I'd never cry again.

I'm going to get stronger, more powerful. I will continue training my magic until I can't anymore. I will continue studying until there is nothing left to learn. I'll do this all so that my family's worth will rise. When I'm done no one will dare to make fun of me and my family.

For my value will be higher than the moon.