if you love me, don't let go

And I Heard Her Say. . .

A/N: In this house, we ignore canon and only canon. . .

...

"You can play it safe, and I wouldn't blame you for it. You can continue as you've been doing, and you'll survive, but is that what you want? Is that enough? "

― J.M. Darhower, Sempre

. . .

In a way, the day's events still seemed surreal. Almost too hard to believe, if Magna hadn't been waiting for the axe to drop for almost a year now, growing edgier and edgier with each passing week that it hung suspended, still threatening overhead. It felt like if she wasn't careful, she - or worse, the people she loved - would be standing directly under it when the time came for it to finally fall.

Watching Hilltop burn and seeing what was left of its residents scatter to the wind made her wish that she and Kelly had kept another stash, or at least found a way to avoid revealing the one they'd had to Daryl.

What the hell were they going to do now?

Another home. Gone.

And she couldn't even bring herself to feel surprised about it. She'd known this was coming from the start - even as she'd hoped against it.

Still, it hurt like a mother fucker, and she knew Miko must be feeling even worse about the loss. She'd fit at Hilltop in a way Magna hadn't - couldn't; had found a certain kind of purpose and role that had been missing from her life since the world fell apart. It was everything she'd been yearning for, ever since the two of them had walked away from the comfort of civilization ten years ago. It was the hope that sparked in her eyes every time they found a new group of people that didn't want to kill them, every time they stumbled upon a community that seemed to actually be working, even prospering.

It never lasted.

Magna had watched the devastation settle over Miko's face every time those hopes were dashed against the unforgiving edge of the universe, and she could see it now, brewing behind the greater relief that their reunion had brought.

Magna's heart hurt for her and she held on just that little bit tighter, hating how powerless she was to actually do anything; to fix this.

Miko, though oblivious to the direction of her thoughts, squeezed her hand in response, offering a small smile. Magna, who'd returned to lying with her head in Miko's lap, managed to form a weak one back.

I love you.

The words still reverberated throughout her being, how easily they'd been said, like Miko hadn't even needed to think about it. She'd just . . . said it.

But words had always come easily to Yumiko.

Magna couldn't seem to get hers to work, no matter what she did. She'd always been screwing something up with her big damn mouth as a kid and that hadn't really changed. She just kept more words to herself now, felt the weight of them in a way she hadn't back then.

And the things she really wanted to say . . .

They were always too heavy to pick up at all.

I love you.

She should say it. She knew the truth of the declaration, had known for a long while - even as she'd tried to deny it.

And Miko . . . Miko deserved to hear those words.

But she couldn't.

. . .

Past