I go to my closet and open my personal drawer, the only place safe from Ms. Adeline. I know I shouldn't do it but I can't help it. I want to get rid of this pain that I feel which is only possible by having a physical one.
I find the blade hidden inside the drawer with shaking hands. I hold it over my wrist and like always, a small voice inside me says:
You don't have to do this.
But I always ignore it and drag the blade across my wrist a little below my pulse. I never kill myself. It's something I would never do. I glance at my wrist where there is a scratch and little droplet of blood comes out. I'm so in rage that I don't even feel the pain and I try to focus on this physical pain and realize how weak I am and how much it hurts, compared to that the physical pain is nothing.
I have no one to stop me, no one to care. I feel tears flowing from my cheeks and no one is there to stop them. After a while, I force myself to stand, reach my bed and drop myself on it. I feel sleep approaching me and I give in to it because I'm so mentally frustrated to think about anything else.
-------- --------- ---------- ----------- ----------
I wake up to a lighted room and remember what happened before. I glance towards the wall clock and it's going to be dinner time. I go to the bathroom to freshen up. There is a mild scratch on my wrist, a reminder of my weakness through pain and then to distract myself, I go to my laptop to finally find out why Mark is ignoring Angela.
After a few minutes, I feel the door of my room opening and then Ms. Adeline enters.
"Good evening, Ms. Alayna."
I don't feel like replying but I murmur a "good evening" back.
"Sir said to serve your food in your room as he wouldn't be able to have dinner with you this evening."
"Hmm" I reply. Not wanting to talk at all and I don't know why, but I'm angry. I shouldn't be... but I am. He changed my routine and I don't like that. My routine is pretty tight and I like the way it is. I guess Ms. Adeline noticed my not-wanting-to-reply mood. So, she quietly left the room. I continue reading my novel and eat the delicious burger in front of me.
--------- --------- --------- ---------- ---------- --------- --------- --------- ---------- ----------
I wake up bolting upright gasping for breath. This dream was vivid and clear. I usually don't have such vivid dreams. Maybe it was because this actually happened and I felt each and everything.
The dream felt like I was back to that time, at that particular place. The sound of tire screeching, the sound of gunshots, the deadly silence. I relived the memory. And I remember each and every detail clearly.
It's 10:00 am. Ms. Adeline didn't wake me up and I'm not in the mood to get up. So I lie down again and decide to sleep late.
YOU ARE READING
Out of The Cage
Romance"You shouldn't have been there." He says. His voice cold. "But I was. It can't be changed". She said boldly. "I can't take the risk of letting anyone know." "What are you going to do about it?". She challenged. She knew she was playing with fire but...
