Breaking Free

Harper

"I met Kaden through one of the girls at the last foster home I stayed in" I started. His eyebrows rose with his surprise but he didn't say anything so I continued. "I was in and out of homes constantly. I didn't like to listen and I made reckless decisions that often got me into trouble so the families would get sick of having to deal with me. Especially the homes where there were other children. I got thrown out of those quicker because they didn't want me to be a bad influence on their kids" I said and turned to look out at the trees. It was late afternoon and the sun was hanging lower in the sky causing the trees to look like they'd caught fire in their light. I took a deep breath and continued on, this time refusing to look at him. I wouldn't be able to get through it all if I watched his every reaction.

"The last home I was sent to was where I met Molly. Her and I were a lot alike. She was in the system too, both seventeen, both mad as hell at the world. We were staying with a woman who wasn't home half the time. I think the department knew it too and were just trying to keep us somewhere until we aged out of the system so they didn't have to worry about us anymore" I shrugged, pulling my knees to my chest on the bench. I glanced at Noah from the corner of my eye to see his gaze was focused on the view before us too. It helped to make it easier go on.

"One night Molly and I went to a party at this kid's house. We'd been there for an hour or two before I saw Kaden. He was standing across the room with a group of guys watching Molly and I talk. I tried to ignore him but I could feel him watching us and as it started to make me uncomfortable he came over to introduce himself. He seemed nice and I'd already had a couple drinks so when he asked me to go have one with him outside I didn't even think about it. Just followed him like the dumb kid I was. We spent the rest of the night talking and he didn't bring me back home until after two in the morning" I got up to pace. I felt raw reliving this. "He got my cell number from Molly and we would text all day and talk on the phone at night. I knew he was older. I was just unaware of how much older until I'd asked to see him again. He told me it wouldn't be a smart idea until after I turned eighteen because he was twenty-eight" I turned towards Noah to see his reaction. He stared at me for a minute, his face remaining passive as he waited for me to continue. I kept pacing as I spoke. "I feel head over heels in love with Kaden. He made me feel special and loved and like I wasn't alone for the first time in my life. Now I know it's because he saw I was vulnerable and he was using it against me, not that that matters now" I shrugged again and sat back down facing the view.

"I moved right in with him once I turned eighteen. Things were great for the first year or so and then he started to change. Or show me who he truly was anyway. It started with him making comments about how I looked or behaved. 'That's not the right color for you'. 'That dress is too tight.' 'Don't talk when my friends are here unless you're spoken to.' 'Know your place.' 'Don't do this, don't do that'." I stopped for a minute to reign in the flood of emotions that had suddenly appeared. I took a few deep breaths and pulled my legs into my chest again, wrapping my arms tightly around them.

"The first time he hit me was when I walked in on him and his friend, Ronan, as they were bagging up the cocaine I didn't know they were selling. I'd been at the library and had told him I'd be gone for most of the day because I was trying to get some space.He didn't even argue with me and I should have known then something was up. He usually gave me all kinds of crap when I'd wanted to leave for the day, accusing me of seeing other men behind his back. Most of the time he'd show up wherever I said I was going to be to make sure I was really there. I hadn't counted on the library closing to have their floors redone. When I walked in the front door and they saw me, Kaden jumped to his feet faster than ever and demanded to know what I thought I was doing. I was so blown away by what I saw on the table I couldn't speak, I couldn't move. Before my head even managed to make sense of what was going on he slapped me and grabbed the hair at the back of my head. I was terrified. I'd never seen anything like this before and he had never laid a hand on me". I wiped the tears off my face and stood up to pace again, too anxious to sit. Noah watched me pace this time with a calm natural look on his face. To know he was going to let me get this out without interrupting, without making me feel judged helped a lot where my anxiety was concerned. I took a deep breath and went on.