(2) Bring Me Home (T. Stark)

Chapter Twenty

Spencer struggles to open the car door with the twins in her arms. She really didn't think this through. One at a time would have been better but she's already running late because Trinity didn't want to go without Dean, but Dean is not here, despite the fact he promised her he would be. Bobby's hand grabs the door and pulls it open for her, Spencer looks at him and nods a little. He gives her a small sad smile.

"I'm sure he hasn't forgotten, he just got caught up" Bobby tells her as she sets the twins into the car.

"Yeah, I get that" she mumbles and turns slightly, she holds her hand out for Trinity who takes it and lets her lift her up. "I have to get used to do this on my own" She comments as she sets Trinity into her car seat.

"At least let me look after Trinity" Bobby tells her. "Your hands are going to be full with the twins, and you should concentrate on them for this appointment"

"My hands are always going to be full" she snaps at him and then calms because she knows it is not Bobby's fault. "Sorry" she whispers. "Look, I'm just....I'm on my own, dealing with three children under three.....I need to start to coming to terms with that...." she brushes her hand over her face and then climbs into her car. She takes a breath as she turns the key to the car. She's right. Tony's not coming back. Her brothers have more important things to deal with. She is literally on her own now. She nods to herself. Get through this appointment.

.................

Spencer sits across from a doctor who's talking at her, she can barely hear him over the sound of her own heartbeat. She knows something is wrong. She knows that Serenity isn't hearing properly, she failed her hearing test. Trinity tugs on Spencer's jacket, she sighs and looks at her daughter.

"Just give mommy a minute" she touches Trinity's cheek and nods to the small children's chair. "Sit down, princess" Trinity huffs a little but does as she is told. "Sorry" Spencer tells the doctor who just smiles softly. "So what exactly does that mean for Serenity?"

"Right now, nothing" He assures her. "We'll do another test in a couple of weeks, but until then I don't want you to worry, some times they fail the first test, if they're unsettled, if there is background noise, if there is fluid or a temporary blockage in the ear...." Spencer nods a little.

"What if she fails the second one?" she whispers.

"The chances are slim that she will" he answers. "You have no history, you have two other children, neither of which have any hearing loss, your pregnancy was ideal and normal....unless you have noticed anything that raises alarm bells, there is nothing to worry about"

"I don't know, I haven't noticed...." Spencer whispers, sadly, she hasn't really been paying too much attention to things, she's been so distracted by everything, so worried and so lost. "It's been a very stressful couple of months"

......................

Back at Bobby's Spencer sits in front of Serenity who lays in her bouncer. Spencer pulls the sleeves of her hoodie down her arms and gives Serenity a small smile. She's going to do her own hearing test. She needs to start paying attention to her children. Spencer takes a deep breath and claps her hands together. Serenity doesn't even flinch, but Ryder does beside her. He at least can hear her. She takes a breath, it could be a fluke. She pulls out her cell phone and opens the music app before she scrolls down to the children's playlist she put together. She turns on the music, and whilst Ryder seems to hear it, his little feet wiggling away, Serenity just lays there. This can't be happening. On top of everything this can't be happening to her family. To her daughter. She scrubs her hands over her face and through her hair. Behind her, Bobby walks into the kitchen, he glances at her and smiles a little seeing her with her children.

"Hey" Bobby greets setting the shopping bags on the kitchen counter. "How did the appointment go?" Spencer looks over her shoulder at him, her eyes all red and puffy. Bobby moves to her. "What's wrong?" he asks her. "What happened?"

"I think Serenity's deaf" she answers. "She failed the hearing screening and I don't think she can hear me"

"What are you talking about?" He asks her. Spencer lowers her hand to Serenity's ear and clicks, nothing.

"He said not to worry about it but she can't hear me, I know she can't...I've been so distracted that I didn't notice my own daughter can't hear me" She tells him. "I'm a terrible mother"

"No" Bobby stops her as she cries. "No, you're just tired and grieving...." he crouches at her side and brushes his sleeve over her cheek.

"She's been in utter silence for almost three months..." she adds. "She's been so alone..."

"No, she hasn't...she can still see you, Spencer" Bobby reminds her. "She knows you are here with her"

"How am I supposed to do this without him?" she asks him. "I don't know what I'm doing...."

"You think any parent does?" Bobby counters softly. "You're trying your hardest and that's all that matters" he strokes her cheek. "And you're doing it whilst you are hurting, while your heart is broken and I think that's very brave" she looks at him. "You're the bravest person I know, Spencer" Bobby assures her. "You just need some sleep" he strokes her arm. "So go take a nap, I'll watch the children" Spencer rubs her head before nodding. 

"Yeah" she whispers. "A nap" she pushes herself to her feet and shuffles out of the room.