The Murderer's Daughter

Chapter XVIII

Sleep was not allowed once more while Lena tossed and turned and tried to shut down her thoughts. Of course such an idea as that was near impossible when there was so much to put together and sort through. How would she kill him? Would he expect her to pull a stunt that would endanger him? Would she be under surveillance? Most likely. Was Hayden going to kill her and her father? Did she care if her father died? Most of the questions went unanswered yet kept piling up, becoming jumbled. If she was thinking about one question, another one would start before sorting through the question before. It was just another step towards insanity, the effects of the meditation already wearing off while the hours passed by. 

Eventually she was allowed to shut her mind down and drift into the deepest parts of her imagination, the true innocence and secret love for fantasy. Dragons, mermaids and wide open areas of forests, hidden waterfalls, every detail in full color. Never had relaxation taken such a heavy toll on her body, once morning had arrived it was like waking up with a new pair of eyes. More details registered. The crease that shouldn't be in her curtain, the foot prints in her carpet when she had been pacing. The clock by her bed read 6:50 AM so she quickly took a shower, dressed in her usual black dress, dark patterned tights and heels, pinning her hair out of her face and waiting for the notice that it was time to leave. An hour passed, going downstairs and meeting up with her father was out of the question, too much of a chance to get in an argument, something that didn't sound appealing.

Finally she heard someone walking up the stairs, the pace quick and impatient, the knock only four quick sounds that echoed in her ears. She quickly answered the door to meet the much taller stature of Martin, his similar wardrobe as each time she had seen him. "It's time to leave now." He said simply, stepping into the room as though an invitation was not necessary, the sudden entrance forcing Lena to move out of the way and holding onto the door in annoyance. He bent over only a few inches to grab the handles of her bags, taking all five but one which she was grateful he left. That one carried her computer, iPod and journals. Neither made any further eye contact and neither said a word as the last bag was grabbed in Lena's hand and the door locked behind her. Wasn't she supposed to be more upset about leaving her home to go to the place she hated most?Perhaps the reality of it had yet to sink in while they went down the stairs and the door of her father's office opened for his to take a few small steps from it and silently look at her. 

She returned the blank gaze once reaching him. Not even a goodbye or a fight for her to stay? Which wouldn't work but it would give her some sort of warm feeling to hold onto while step out the front door. Maybe he would drink himself to death in order to escape the horrible turn that his life had made. If he would not put in any effort to saying good bye or even I love you, neither would she, it was not worth the time or energy and regrets would have no need to haunt her. "Let me get the door for you." He said quietly and moved ahead of Martin who froze in mid step while the door was quickly opened out of his way. "Thank you." His mumbled reply sounded and then he was out of the house, putting the bags in the trunk and waiting for her. Lena looked at her father in disgust now, he was practically shoving her out the door. 

"I suppose this is goodbye then." She said, watching his hand tighten on the door handle, making his veins more noticeable. "Take care." Was his last words before she became too frustrated to say anything more and left without even another glance. His position was told, he was more afraid of Hayden then he was a father to her. There was much more she could learn from him but his true side was shown to her, granting her a new chance to clear her mind of any lose ends. She brought the bag into the car with her and Martin shut the door and trunk, moving to the driver's side without anymore conversation. How was she supposed to react to all of this? Angry? That was inevitable. Sadness? Perhaps, but she would use that as fuel to continue on with herself, there was too much baggage in her mind that would get in the way of her goals. If and when she killed Hayden, perhaps even Martin if needed, then maybe she would see the part of her father that gave her pride to be his daughter.