Through my Blood

Chapter XXII: Our Own Separate Ways

"Perhaps we should go on our own separate ways for a while."

Remus's heart sank as he remembered Serana say those words. The dejected look that came with them made it even worse.

It had always been like this. He always wanted to work alone. This way, there wasn't a risk that his companion would wind up dead. He should've been desensitized to the idea of death, being the part of the Dark Brotherhood. But after what transpired between him and the Emperor, he had placed a great deal of burden on himself: a debt to repay.

He murdered innocents in cold blood before. This is why he swore to repay this debt by saving as many innocents as he can. He engraved this so deep in his heart that whenever he fails to save someone, no matter the circumstances, it made him want to throw up.

This is why he was alone. A lone wolf.

Until, he met the Companions. But that one was also short lived.

Then he met Serana. When he first met her, he thought that the time they'd be together will only be for a while. All he had to do was to escort her back to her home, and that would be the end of it.

But, while on their travels, he found the vampiress... peculiar. For someone who was considered by many to be a creature with a cursed existence, she was kind and seemed to be someone who wouldn't just hurt anybody. In fact, he found her... pretty lonesome.

Just like himself.

It made him feel empty when he had to leave her at Castle Volkihar. Then, he was unreasonably happy when she found him at Fort Dawnguard.

They way he thought of her became better and better for each day they've been together. Eventually, she became someone... precious to him. Someone he wanted to protect.

He wanted to call her as he watched her walk away, but no words would come out of his mouth. Even he was confused on why he didn't tell her about the scroll.

"... I didn't want to risk the success of the mission."

He wanted to kick himself upon remembering the things he said to her, just to get it over with.

But where did that even come from? Could she be right? Doesn't he trust her?

He doubts that's the case... but there was a tinge of truth in his words. But Serana... she's always been...

"Hey, are you even listening to me?" A voice suddenly erupted through his thoughts. It was Sorine.

He just remembered that she was briefing him through a mission while they sat at a table on the common room.

"Yeah, yeah." Remus aloofly responded.

"Really? Then what did I just say?"

"Dwarven things."

"Hmp. Lucky guess."

Remus didn't even know the answer, he just randomly spouted a word he's hearing from her in the background.

"You know, you can patch things up with your love-lass once she gets back. So it would be nice if you focused here for a bit.

Remus didn't respond. He even chose to ignore that "love-lass" comment of hers. Sorine continued to speak.

"Anyway, just to clarify things, I'd want you to check out certain locations and retrieve any crossbow and crossbow bolt schematics you can find."

"Schematics?" Remus asked distantly.

"I want to add some punch to our crossbow capabilities; I've done all I can on my own. I need a little inspiration." Sorine replied.

Remus stood up from his seat. "I'm sorry, I don't think I can. Besides I also have another scroll to retrieve..." he answered glumly. "I'm gonna go hit the sack."