this is home.

That I cannot fall in love but I guess

Warnings for the whole story: Misgendering, homophobia, and bullying

I think I was 4, or 5 when I learned something was different. And this wasn't even about my gender. They exact date's a blur. I was probably the most reckless kid you would ever meet. I had two older siblings, what did you expect?

I remember my siblings and I were going for a walk by the beach. We actually lived pretty close to it, so we did this all the time. But this time was different.

I remember seeing a gay couple, both were guys (At least, both looked very masculine, and no chest was visible, so I thought they were both dudes). All I knew was that it made me smile. I had pointed at them and asked my older sister. "Will I be able to have a boyfwiend like that?" (I think it was more like "Could I have a boyfwiend", but then again I was 5)

Eon (my sister), just smiled at me. "Not now, of course. But when your older, I bet all the boys and girls will be falling for you.

My little five-year-old brain exploded with joy. "I'm gonna get a boyfwiend!" I had shouted. (Oh, young me can tell the future or something)

My older brother, Acid, laughed. "You bet you are! I'll even be your wingman!"

"What's a wingman?" I asked.

"Oh, dude. A wingman is someone who helps you get with the person you wanna get with. Just name the person, and soon enough they'll be falling head-over-heals for you!" Acid explained.

The walk home was rather cheerful. We ended up playing tag on the way home. I somehow won. I also remember that I was so excited that I was going to get a boyfriend that I had to tell my parents.

"Mamma! Papa! I'm gonna get a boyfwiend!" I had cheered.

My mom sighed, and my dad smiled sadly. "Girlfriend, Gloves. You'll get a girlfriend." Mom said.

"But...I don't want a gorlfwiend....I wanna boyfwiend!"

Five-year-old me was up to something. Even though I later turned out to be bi, I always preferred guys over girls. Who knows what it was. Maybe it was the fact that Acid was always watching movies with really hot (Or as I said back then, handswome) dudes that seemed to like the dudes better than the gals.

My dad had looked at me with love, like I was the most important thing in the universe. "Gloves, when you grow up, you can love whoever you want, be it a guy or a girl. As long as they make you happy and treat you right."

Mom scoffed. "No two men should be together. It's unnatural."

Dad looked enraged. Before he could do anything, Eon picked me up. "Gloves, let's go upstairs. I'll tell you a story."

"Yay! Stowytime!" I cheered.

As we went upstairs to my room, I heard yelling from mom and dad. My five-year-old ass didn't pay it any mind, though. Eon carried me to my room, setting me down on the bed. "What story do you want to hear tonight?"

"The pwince and his knight!" 

(*Cough Cough* Shameless self promo for my Quotev story *cough*)

"Alright. Here we go..." Eon sat down next to me, before her voice got quiet.

"Once upon a time, there was a prince. This prince didn't like the other princesses his parents wanted him to marry, no, he was in love with his knight. Every night, the two boys snuck out to gaze at the star-filled sky and wonder how they could make their love work. Then, one day, they ran away to a neighboring kingdom..."

I don't remember the rest of the story. I always fell asleep at that part (I still do).

My dreams that night were a mix of many different things. I know this because I always kept a book about them. I remember seeing a sun-yellow inkling holding out a letter to me that had a heart sticker holding it closed. I remember a yellow-green one helping me up, I remember seeing a lot of people I would see in my future.

Starting when I went to Middle School.