It always seemed like i had a normal childhood, it was just my ordinary daily life. I lived with my mam and dad, my brother Peter and my sister Emily. We'd sometimes have family days out, have a laugh here and there. I guess i was too young to understand what was really going on. I'd catch my mam and Peter crying upstairs, I'd keep asking what's wrong, but i never got an answer. Dad used to shout a lot at Peter,for a lot of different reasons.
As i was a little girl,dad would never harm me or shout at me for anything. I was daddy's little girl. He'd take me to parks,and all sorts of places! He'd tuck me up tight for bed and kiss my forehead and told me he loved me. As far as i knew he was a lovely person. But i knew Peter and mam knew different... I couldn't think of what was going on.
Once i turned 6 things started to seem unusual,dad would start shouting even more at Peter and I,say things that he shouldn't. He'd start shouting and smacking us,he'd get really angry and swear at us,call us names. Emily was only three,so she didn't understand what was going on,Peter was only 10 himself. Dad had Peter changing Emily's nappies and feed her while mam was in work,dad would just sit there on the sofa and watch TV while drinking his beer. I never really understood why he kept shouting and hitting us, i always saw him as a caring person. But i guess that wasn't the real him.
A year after that i was 7, getting used to his usual mood swings. He got more aggressive and moody. He didn't like me and my sister Emily having a messy bedroom,Peter's was always clean. He'd stomp loudly and slowly up the stairs,just to let us know he's coming. Every time he'd do that there's always something wrong,or he's angry. My heart was racing,i was sweating and didn't know what to do. I ran over to my dolls box as fast as i could and put some in and pretend i was playing with them,he came into the room and started shouting at me
"Your room is filthy" he shouted
"I'll clean it up now" i said in a panic
"Hurry up,you stupid worthless girl" he shouted aggressively
I couldn't help but burst into tears and start cleaning up,i was is such a rush. I was tired that night too,so i had to do it fast before he came back,i tried not to cry loud since Emily was in bed. I climbed into bed and rested my head into my pillow. I couldn't get to sleep,dad's words just kept circling round and round my head.
