Bloodlines: Blood Link

Decisions

Light pierced through the parted curtains, painting a bright swath across the couch. Sleepily I blinked my eyes, squinting against the rude light. I was warm, warmer than I had been since running out to find Alexander. And it wasn't just the sunlight that was the source of this heat.

I was lying half on the couch, half on Finn's chest. His body was wedged under mine, arms holding me to himself, his nose buried in my hair. I felt his chest rise and fall beneath me as he slept on. He must have stayed with me all night long.

I wanted to settle back into his comforting arms, but I knew that it was wrong to think that. But what was wrong with allowing myself to be comforted? Could I not have just one guilt-free spark of pleasure in this black world?

Finn inhaled deeply as he awoke, opening sleepy eyes.

“Did you sleep well?” was the first question out of his mouth. Why was he so concerned about my well-being? He didn't know me. He had no reason to be worried about me. But thinking back, I realized that I had slept well. I had fallen asleep in the arms of Alexander, or so I had pretended. It's where I always slept the soundest.

“What about you?” I asked curiously. He looked refreshed, better than he had yesterday.

“I slept well,” he answered, but his voice was tinged with wonder. Did he have nightmares too? Of his mom being killed?

I stood up, letting him get up. He didn't say anything about what happened last night, and he didn't act as if anything strange had gone on. For that, I was thankful.

“I'll heat up the food from last night,” he said, moving off in the direction of the kitchen. I took the opportunity and ran to the bathroom, the third door in the short hallway. I groaned inwardly when I saw my reflection. I looked horrible. My hair was straggly and hanging around my face, my makeup was smeared under my eyes, and my complexion was red and blotchy from my constant tears. The oversized clothes of Finn's only emphasized the look.

After I relieved myself, I found a towel folded under the sink. The unfamiliar shower took me a moment to figure out, but soon the steaming hot water flowed over my body. Of course, I cried, especially when I found myself expecting Alexander to join me like he had loved to do. I was sick of crying. Not just crying for Alexander, but crying for everyone I had lost over the years. What good did it do?

I wrapped the towel around my wet head after drying myself. I felt better, and maybe I looked a little better too. A hot shower always helped. I really wanted clothes my size to wear, but my short skirt, leggings, and knit sweater didn't sound too appealing, especially since they were probably dirty and gross after lying in the mud.

I peeked out of the bathroom door, shivering as the cooler air touched my body. Finn was nowhere in sight. Would he mind if I just borrowed a fresh shirt?

I tiptoed down the hallway, my bare feet leaving damp footprints. I pushed open his door, wincing when it creaked slightly. It was still dark inside, and I groped around on the wall for a moment before I gave up on finding the light switch. Enough light seeped through the cracks in the boarded up window for me to see by. The room was messy, and it looked identical to the way it had yesterday. I crossed to the dresser against the wall, opening a drawer along the bottom. I pulled out a pair of jeans, hoping that he had some that would fit my slim body. To my surprise, they were women's jeans, cut in a fashionable fit that was close to my size. What luck! I bit my lip, wondering how he would feel about me snooping around his room. I should ask him if I could at least borrow the jeans. I stuffed them back into the drawer and slid it shut, feeling suddenly self-conscious.

As I entered the living room, Finn was just emerging from the kitchen, carrying two bags of fast food. Normally I avoided the cheap greasy food, but the smell made me realize just how hungry I was.