Loaded Gun, Empty Arms

2. Birthday

It was my turn to lock up. Which meant spending an hour turning off all the electronics and cleaning. I was putting tablets back in their area when I noticed one left on a table. I sighed slightly and went to pick it up. The title caught my attention, however.

"When They Came"

I read through the summary quickly and hummed slightly. I pulled my Scanner from my backpack and checked the book out for myself. I turned the tablet off when it loaded onto my Scanner and put it away with the others. I plugged them all in in the storage room. 

After cleaning up, I held my Scanner over the digital lock of the building. I turned away when I heard the lock click into place and pulled my hood on. It was still a while before curfew so I headed to the market to get ingredients to make dinner for the first time in a while.

Nothing really changed drastically after the first year. Things calmed down again and people got on with their lives. Well, it was more like we adapted to our new life styles. They kept us well supplied on food and financially stable. Honestly, we were doing better than we ever had before. Same for the rest of the world. 

There weren't any more wars, poverty, or famine. Of course, in return, we occasionally have to look the other way. 

I was getting some meat when I noticed a small cake out of the corner of my eye. I looked at it for a second as I tried to remember the last time I had one. 

"Would you like to purchase that? It's about to go bad so I'll give it to you half priced?"

It's not that I couldn't afford it. I always could. It was just an unnecessary thing to have. 

So why the hell is it in my hand as I walked home? Even I wasn't sure why.

I climbed up the stairs to my apartment and reached into my pocket to pull out my Scanner. I flinched and dropped it at shouting. I looked over to see my neighbor being dragged out of his apartment. Causing a scene in the process. 

I looked away and reached down for my Scanner. I unlocked my door and stepped inside, closing the door just in time to hear them dragging him by. I stood there as I listened to the screaming and pleading. I sighed and took off my shoes and took the food to the kitchen to put it away. 

It wasn't my battle. I didn't even know the guy. 

I set the cake on the table and took off my jacket. I waved my scanner in the direction of the tv and used it to turn up the volume. I listened to the news as I made myself dinner. 

I've been living by myself for a year and a half now. I moved deeper into the city to find a better job than the one I had. I still visit my parents whenever I can. Which is more often than you'd think. 

I sat down on the couch and watched the news as I ate. Nothing really new, like always. The news ends an hour before curfew, everyone is heading home before it's too late. I turn off the tv and get up. I went to the kitchen and started washing the dishes. I stopped about halfway when I noticed the cake sitting on my table again. 

I sigh slightly, "What the hell? Why not?" 

I sat at the table and opened it carefully. I smiled softly when I realised it had strawberries. I stared at it for a while and felt tears burn at the back of my eyes. I blinked them back and sighed. 

I got up again and found candles. I grabbed them and a lighter. I took out my Scanner and checked my notifications. Still nothing. There hadn't been anything all day. I sighed again and set it on the table, screen down. 

I played with the lighter in my hand and hummed slightly as I did. I put the flame to the box and watched it burn. The corner I set a flame started to curl as the ambers faded to black. 

I blew out the flame on the lighter before lighting it again. I kept humming as I played with the flame.

"Happy Birthday to Me..."

I narrowed my eyes slightly and shoved the lighter into the cake before standing up. The lighter sizzled as it was put out. 

"Happy. Fucking. Birthday." I threw out the cake, along with the lighter. I could always just buy another. I grabbed my scanner and plugged it in before going to bed. I changed quickly and got under my covers. I stared out the window for a while, knowing I wouldn't be able to sleep. 

After a while I get up and go to the bathroom. I turn the light on and take out bandages and rubbing alcohol. I roll my sleeves back and start unwrapping my left arm. I wince softly as they tug at torn skin and scabs. I throw out the old ones and start cleaning up the cuts on my arm. 

The rubbing alcohol burns at recent cuts that have not closed fully. I sigh and put it away. I get the bandages and go back to the bed. I lay a towel down so I don't stain my sheets. I pull the exacto knife from my nightstand and click it open. 

I looked at the dirtied blade; dried, brown blood was caked onto it. 

"I should clean it tomorrow..."

I pressed the blade to my arm and dragged it across my skin.

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I stop cutting when I start to get a bit dizzy. I watch the blood bubble up and spill onto the towel. I wiped the blade off and put it away. I wiped off my arm before bandaging it tightly. 

I traced the cuts through the cotton and smiled slightly. I always felt better afterwards. My vision started to blur slightly. I laid down before I passed out again.