Was It Even Worth It ?

Shade Of Blue

Tony's heart is beating like crazy and his breath is ragged.

He feels out of place, out of time, as if under water, drowning to a deep shade of blue. His eyes go left and right, desperately trying to find something to hold onto, anything.

Please please please, anything.

His legs give out under him, and he crumble to the ground, unable to stand anymore, seeing without really doing so the blue wall in front of him.

What would he give to be anywhere but here, right now ? His whole being, his soul if needed.

He is ready to do anything to go out of there. Somewhere, up in the blue sky.

But around him everything is as usual.

As fucking usual.

It's cold, so so cold, the stone is hard under his palms, scratching his skin and making him bleed blood of a carmine red.

It feels like the bruises on his knuckles are getting bluer every passing second.

Tony tries to hold to the pain, bringing his hands to his chest as a futile way to protect himself.

He is doomed.

What has he done ?

Tony killed the only person that loved him.

Tony killed him, while feeling nothing but hate.

No love.

And his eyes are pricking, his tears falling down his cheeks.

He is so pathetic, right now.

Tony knows, deep down, that he couldn't have known.

That he was brainwashed.

That he, just like Bucky, was made into a weapon, to destroy him.

The difference lay in the fact that he succeeded.

Here it is, hands stained by Captain America's blood.

By Steve's blood.

And Tony remembers his blue lips, his eyes, lifeless, the familiar blue spark nowhere to be seen.

Tony's own blood is falling from his hands, dripping to the floor, and he hopes deep down that maybe they could merge together one last time.

Just... one last time.

Tony grasp his necklace, break the chain with one swift movement, and hold close to his heart the beautiful ring.

It is artfully crafted, silver melting with gold, blue sapphire side to side with red ruby.

Together.

But he isn't here anymore.

Because he killed him.

Because he raised his blue repulsor, looked a last time in his eyes and said farewell gleefully, not understanding why tears were rolling down his face.

Now he knows.

Now he knows and, fuck, it hurts so much.

Tony is all alone now.

No together anymore.

No two of them anymore.

But... he thinks he deserves it.

Really, what's more fitting ?

Yeah, he does.

The light of his ARK reactor is blue.

So is the sky, the ocean, his ring and his suit.

So were his eyes.

So were his eyes.

The bluest he's ever seen