Bandaids

Track

The feeling of your lungs burning, the idea of the world going faster than you, is not a good feeling. My legs were carrying me as fast as they could but it still seemed like it was never going to be enough.

People kept passing me and through the loudspeaker, I could hear that I was falling behind.

Why couldn't I keep up with everyone else? Why did it hurt so much in this final leg of the race that I had to find myself dropping in the rankings?

The white line painted on the red track was a bright light at the end of a dark tunnel, but that didn't mean that it was going to be a happy one. My feet fell heavily on the ground as I crossed the line and started to slow myself down.

A small hope in my heart was that there were still others behind me that had finished after I had.

My knees bent and I struggled to regain control of my breathing for stability. There was clapping that was resounding in the air by the people that had come to watch the try-outs and through the footfalls of other competitors, I heard the steps of my best friend hurrying to see me.

"Yeosang! Sangie, you were amazing!"

I shook off his praise, I didn't deserve it. I could have done so much better, why did I have to fail at the very end?

His hand landed on my shoulder and I drew myself into an upright posture before looking at him. He had been my best friend for almost four years and just by the look in my eyes, he knew my feelings.

"Yeosang, come on," he sighed, "You did fantastic! It was only in the end that you started to falter. And this isn't to see who comes in first, it's to see who has the passion to want to be in first."

I had the passion for it, alright.

I'd had the passion to come in first for track every year since junior high. My parents had pushed me to become the track star so badly, I didn't want to disappoint them. At the top of junior year, I had become the top of my class before I found myself falling behind once again at the beginning of high school.

Last year, I was the top track student at the school. Now I find myself falling behind once again.

Only this time, I was filled with fear that this time, my reputation wouldn't be able to save me. The college needed people that would succeed, not people that would start and only succeed at the very end.

"Yeosangie~," my best friend whined, "Get out of your head. There's nothing more that you can do at this point. You did your best and if the coaches and captains can't see that, then screw it, come to soccer with me!"

San had been playing soccer almost as long as he'd been alive. It was his favorite thing in the world. The two of us had met at the track field when I was in high school.

San threw his arm around me and smiled broadly, "Come on, I'll treat you to lunch."

He always knew how to make other people smile, even when there wasn't something to smile about. San had been the reason that I was able to smile and able to make jokes with myself.

I agreed and we walked over to my bag, San looking out at the field in the middle of the track as I changed my shoes and applied deodorant to keep me from smelling like a garbage bin.

"How do you feel about joining soccer?" San asked.

I swallowed and zipped up the bag quickly. Looking back at him, I stood and replied, "Only if the track team doesn't work."

He saluted me, to which I rolled my eyes and started to walk away from him. He cried out when I got far enough away and hurried to catch up, bumping his shoulder against my own.

"Don't leave me alone, Yeosang!"

I smiled briefly at him. "What would they do? They're just athletes, nothing too horrible."

San shook his head quickly. "Noo, you would know what Wooyoung would do if he caught me without another person talking to cute athletes."

Yet another reason to walk away from San. My neighbor was nice enough but there had been more than one occasion that Wooyoung thought I had been coming onto San. Both times, I had only been talking to San briefly which led to the two having a huge argument first at San's apartment across campus before moving into my hallway in my building and later, Wooyoung's apartment.

It went on for much longer than I would have appreciated and it took San a while to get Wooyoung to accept the fact that I was his friend and nothing more.

Despite all that, Wooyoung still scared me enough that I tried to have as little contact with him as possible.

I had physically seen him a couple of times, but I had only talked to him maybe once, and it wasn't even a full conversation.

-----------------------------------------------

I had been going on night runs for a while, trying to improve, and surprisingly, San had been having the same issue that I had. The two of us were lagging behind everyone else in the club we had chosen and while the soccer field had been locked, San had come to the track to practice.

It had been around midnight when I paused to take a break. I stopped in front of the watchtower and leaned against the cool metal tower to see San focusing on his footwork. He was quite good and similarly centered on his task as I had been.

I watched him practice for a few minutes before he had noticed me. He got nervous and stumbled over his feet, the ball being lost around him. San hadn't fallen but his face had been burning red with embarrassment.

At that time, I had smiled. It was some comfort that I wasn't the only one that was struggling, that there were other people out there having the same problems that I did.

He picked up his ball and turned away from me to walk out the gate when there was a strong, bright beam from a flashlight that caught both of our attention.

The track wasn't able to be locked from everyone so there was a security team that came around every so often to check that no one was there. Both San and I had been there for maybe the first or second time when we met, so we had yet to figure out the routine of the guard.

"Hey!" I called to him, San turning to me and I motioned for him to come over.

He glanced only once at the guard's flashlight beam as it came closer before he started running. He was fast, reaching me quickly, and I started running with him.

The guard entered the track and called out angrily to us but neither of us turned back. Instead, we vaulted over the short chain-link fence and ran off the school grounds. Neither of us stopped until we reached the corner store at the beginning of my neighborhood.

We'd tripped over each other getting into the store, the employee looking at us with wide eyes as he let us pay for the sandwiches and drinks. We sat on the curb outside, the ball under San's feet as he hungrily ate the food.

We introduced ourselves and San admitted he lived in the completely opposite direction of me. I offered him the couch in my living room to crash on for the night and the two of us played video games in my bedroom until early in the morning.

Since then, San and I had been insanely close.