Bandaids

But a Memory

Song of the Chapter: "8 Letters" by Why Don't We

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I remembered when Yunho came into the room.

I hadn't seen my older brother in a very long time, which felt like a good thing now. I felt like I could tell him everything without him holding an unbiased opinion.

I didn't expect him to cry when I told him what I felt.

Over the hour Yunho and I were together, I had spilled to him everything that had happened.

I choked on my words when I explained how I had broken Hongjoong.

"It was a mistake."

"I know."

"I didn't know."

"I know."

"I didn't mean it."

"I know you didn't."

"It was an accident."

"Of course it was an accident."

All lies and excuses told through my clenched teeth and quiet sobs. Yunho had sat there with me on my bed, listening to everything I said.

I could see in his eyes the pity that he felt for me, but there was a certain hardness.

He was going to tell me exactly what I needed to hear because that's what Yunho always did.

But I was tired.

I was so tired.

I closed my eyes and curled into my elder brother, hoping that when I woke up, I would be able to hear what he had to say.

I didn't expect Yunho to be gone.

Looking around the room, I found Hongjoong asleep at the table, his head lying against one of his arms. I shifted out of bed and glanced out the window, finding that it was already late afternoon.

I tapped Hongjoong lightly on the shoulder, but when he didn't move, I dragged one of the chairs over and sat next to him, placing my arms on the table and lying on them. My attention was turned toward him.

He looked peaceful when he slept.

These days, it was common for Hongjoong to be constantly moving, as he seemed to be wanting to compensate my lack of energy with his own.

I had worried for a while that he was pushing himself too much, but that thought had been drowned out with the reason for his state of being.

It was my fault he was so exhausted.

Studying his face as my own eyes grew heavy, I felt myself drifting off to a sleep again with the bags under Hongjoong's eyes condemning themselves to my memory.

But I didn't sleep long.

A hand shook my shoulder and I opened my eyes slowly to see Hongjoong was rubbing his eyes as he leaned back in his chair.

How adorable...

My attention went to the hand, following the arm up to the face of my older brother.

"It's time to come home."

I blinked for a moment before pushing myself up and rubbing my eyes with the back of my hand. Yunho was patient as I slowly stood up and held onto the chair as I felt my balance worse than I would prefer. 

Hongjoong took my arm and I looked at him with a sad smile of thanks.

He shook his head and smiled back brightly.