Regret is not a feeling I am familiar with. Remorse is Greek to me. Guilt? Never heard of it. So why now am I feeling all of these emotions?
Because I let weakness in.
In case you didn't notice yet, I haven't had a normal life. And up until right now I didn't care about that. If I had a normal life I might have ended up being one of those basic bîtches you see on the internet. Even if my childhood was an anomaly, it was my childhood and that's how I grew up. Life has trained me to be tough and unwavering, confident in myself, yet here I am doing just the opposite. And for what, slicing some uppity bïtch's lips? And because I let my emotions get the best of me, the only people who have shown me compassion in my life are probably peeing their pants at the sight of me.
I see look of horror of Stephanie's face that makes me realize I f*cked up. Her jaw is slack and her eyes are huge with astonishment. She keeps looking at me like IM the one who kidnapped her. Honestly, if she peed her pants because of me, at this point, she needs toughen up. Apparently she hasn't gotten used to brutality during her stay in helł.
She looks beyond petrified of me. Though I originally thought that she was irrelevant, I realize now how much her awkward little self has grown on me. Our potential friendship is obviously damaged beyond repair. Great. That's JUST what I need. I shouldn't have thrown that knife. I should've held my hand, let it go, but instead I've ruined every chance I had of having normal friends.
If this is what regret feels like ... I'd like to go back to 100% cold hearted bįtch asap.
YOU ARE READING
Our Stay With It
Humor8 girls, 1 cabin, and a shit ton of drama. Sometimes she would ask herself why. Why was there desire in her cold black heart, but no movement in her dying body? She should just do the deed for herself and end her miserable existence. But her conscie...
