Nineteen That Never Came

The Meaning of Death

What's the meaning of death?
How does it feel when it enters your chest?
When he left.
That was just the beginning of a broken hearted girl.
As more leave to taste their last breath
She starts to wonder if she'll ever pull through.
Should I join them?
Laying on the ground
As the skies are crying out, I am watching
Catching teardrops in my hands
Only silence as it's ending
Alive I am, but alone I be
The days go by like years
Years fades to endless tears
Unable to breathe I become a tool
As he beats me into a fool
My skin starts to unfold
With every hit harder than the last
With every round a different man
My tears turn into glass
Slowly shattering, as my body falls at his feet
Unable to gasp for air, I say my last prayer
I awake surrounded by tubes and cords
Thinking to myself, why did I have to come back?
As the smoke clears I awaken and untangle them from me
Would it make you feel better to watch me while I bleed?
All my windows still are broken
But I'm standing here alone
Not for long, for the demons have found comfort within me.
As they guided me to freedom
Where there were no worries of emotions
For they have just vanished
Living the life, untill I'm stopped in my tracks, unable to move.
As I lay eyes on him, inside I feel a crack
Through the walls I forbidden to crossover,
Trying to shove the pieces back in place.
That day when I saw his face, those eyes, and that smile.
The fire erupts spreading through the walls catching me off guard
With this newfound urge, I let it burn what's left to the ground.
As I run towards the sound of my heart pounding,
Unable to realize the jeopardy I put onto myself
I leap with faith
Longing for this type of love
Starving as I reach for it
Consumed by the feeling of passion
I let myself out, free of my own hell
Few years go by and I'm starting to fade once more
This time to the core
Not able to reach to him through the other side
I struggle for air
Will I be able to return from the hell that's overlapping my lungs?
Short in breath
Back to square one
Do I fight to the death?
Or will i surrender into the flames.
Either way I'm going to the same place,
To internal darkness
It's only matter of time
Hell through the shit I've faced
My existence should've been long gone, underground.
There's only so many punches I can take,
Can I fake it to the end? No unfortunately not.
Though I could bend my morals to no return...
But what about to those I promised?
Would it even matter anymore?
I used up my last space for the scars to remain.
When is enough?
How much pain till one can tap out..